Ayatollah Hermione

4 minutes Klopp’s cry arsing playing off

That sent before Isak brayed the cunt in great fucking finish, pick the bones out of that cunt

Jurgen Klopp pictured now

BT trying to make something of the ball hitting Burn’s chest and slightly grazing his hand but nothing of Fabinho elbow smashing Willock in the back of the head

He just does not have the speed of thought or speed of legs to play at the level we want

Can tell Trippier is a full England international as he gets the full name treatment from commentators every time he’s mentioned. See also: Harry Kane and Declan Rice

Ah that’s why Lascelles is in; to clatter the fuckers about

Dubravka has been gone 2 minutes ffs classic Newcastle United

I particularly like how they laughed off a Premier League official blocking off our view of a shot and indirectly costing us a goal. That crazy Mike Dean!

Must think that our high pressing up the pitch is going to force Liverpool to play long balls that Lascelles and Burn are equipped to deal with #tactics

First choice back 5 + Joelinton makes me confident we can frustrate them and limit their chances but I really can’t see us scoring without Bruno, Wilson and Saint-Maximin, like. I know the temptation is to play Anderson over Longstaff but I think he’d be better suited to a full debut at home where we’ll have more of the ball

Maitland-Niles would make some amount of sense. Him and Dendoncker would actually be fairly shrewd if they came off. Not world-beaters or eye-catching names but they’re dependable PL players at a time where we desperately need better second choice options

I was in Independent once and they were selling treble vodka and oranges for 65p

Remember, their next manager must also be “hard” He must physically beat bad players into submission

I could easily sell some of you lot a bag of magic beans

They’re fucking demented

Was on about the Intertoto Cup the other day, can anyone remember who we beat to get that illustrious certificate?

Must have seen a tuft of hay sticking out of the pocket of Parker’s shit cardigan

Would honestly put down 35 quid plus booking fee to see Burnsie get uppercutted through a roof like it’s the subway stage on Mortal Kombat 2

He’s a machine. Seems custom built for football when you consider his strength and pace but he’s got the brain, he’s always moving in the box, has two great feet, is good in the air and is even class at pens. If you could create a striker, he’s basically who you’d come up. And even the crack about him being “injury prone” seems very premature

Friends again!

Im all for giving Man Utd grief but my view is that, we’ll lose a 33 year old, injury prone keeper for whatever fee it is and Ashworth and the lads will pick out some young lad to come in and deputise and we’ll come out better in the end. Man United are all about the short term easy fix these days and they’re going to get nowhere with it. Look at when Ashworth sold Mat Ryan and replaced him with Sanchez when at Brighton. As much as we’d all get satisfaction out of taking the fuckers to the cleaners, we’ll probably not need to to end up with a better result. SITUATION: DEFUSED

Closing down Gabriel today was the quickest I’ve ever seen him move tbf to him. Must have knocked the fray bentos pies on the head once and for all

Didn’t realise he was 26. Sure I read some Mackems saying that he could have a similar trajectory to Toney because of the way they progressed through the leagues. Shame there’s just the slight difference of Toney being on his way up and still improving whereas this sweaty is currently at his peak

The way TBD is going on here, I think I got off light with the Mitrovic vs Wood patter