Ayatollah Hermione

Does the Euros last year not count either like?

You’ll not know now that you only eat almond bars and lettuce but they’re all the rage now. Takeaway pizza technology has advanced; curry pizzas, 37 inch efforts, a Japanese pizza with sweetcorn and whitebait. It’s a whole new world

Can’t get fuck all from the club itself these days so has to fill column space by giving his cunt mate chance to talk his usual shite Shameless

He’ll still have a student loan stashed away

Dabbawal is class for Indian scran in town, more of a street food sort of vibe though. My Delhi is similar. I’ve never had a bad meal from Pani’s either, has to be said.

Don’t worry, Castore will send you one with a green and black badge if the other two are anything to go by

I don’t subscribe but he always gets pushed into the algorithm on mine anyway so I might as well

Gemmill and The Fish such big stat friends that they can’t agree on Saint-Maximin even though one of them argues he’s great with his numbers.

EFL starts tomorrow night with Huddersfield vs Burnley and then the Charity Shield on Saturday. We go again

I’m tobacc-ing him to have a canny season

Nice to see this level of graft in a pre-season, really. Even the likes of Murphy seem to be playing like they actually have a chance of some games

Get him sent to the EFL gulag. Donkey

Bondswell getting any time at all has to be bad news for Lewis. Where’s he even been in pre-season?

Almiron making sure we can spend all that money on a striker

Trying to get someone sent off in a friendly Those crazy Portuguese

Genuinely worried for the prediction thread when Wykiki gets back into it. Anderson definitely has something about him, like.

What the heck?

Lads, Dan Ashworth is not going to let Steve Bruce handle our best young prospect for a season

Premier League Winners - Man City Runners up - Chelsea (by a mile) 3-6 - Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal, Newcastle Relegated - Everton, Fulham, Bournemouth Overachievers - Newcastle Underachievers - Everton and West Ham Top Goal Scorer - Kane PFA Player of the year - De Bruyne PFA Young player of the year - Saka First sacking - Hassenbitch NUFC Finishing position - 6th Top Goal scorer - Wilson Player of the year - Trippier Cups FA - Man City EFL or whatever its called now! - Man City Europe Champions League - Man City Europa League - I don’t even know who is in it. Someone that drops from the Champions League

We should have sent them out for fuck all to the schools since that’s what classy clubs who can’t fill their stadium do

Apparently Dummett is an excellent presence around the place and is really good with the younger players. Can almost see Howe valuing that above all else, especially if someone like Ritchie leaves, who filled a similar role himself

Fuck me, let me shake the hangover off first. It took all my energy messaging Gloomy this morning

Aye, i pay 40 quid a year and it’s pure convenience. Loads of choice, get it across the Fire Stick, the iPad and my phone, comes with VOD for your tv and film, never drops out, has a built-in VPN. Can’t think of anything else I get as much value out of

With regards to us not going out and spending daft money, is it not sensible to spend a season establishing some foundations and sorting the total mess we’ve inherited out? Do that in the background and finish top half and you’re in a fantastic place going into 23/24

Where has this parking crack come from? Could have done it as a wind-up