Ayatollah Hermione

Barnes probably just a smokescreen for some other Premier League player that will drop out of nowhere. Brennan Johnson or something

Considering England U21s are largely made up of Premier League regulars, I’m sure Sunderland’s lads aren’t there simply because they would show the others all up and need to be straight into Southgate’s team

As a man that doesn’t drive or ride a bike, I’ve found that the key to successful public transport usage is to have such a resting angry face that nobody will even dare sit near you.

Luton hate anyone with a sizeable black playerbase IIRC

The Athletic article on Tonali makes it sound like we’ll be using the loan market to get around FFP restrictions this time around so maybe there is something in the Phillips chat

Even your taste in steakhouses is shit

I can’t be fucking chewed on to reply but “Burnsie” is Mouth of the Tyne @Polarboy He’s a fucking nugget of Musk-esque ineptitude

Normal Blake, is it? Typing with that stylus has yielded some unfortunate results

Burnsie, the man who claimed to be abducted by aliens is not ITK with regards to his own reality, never mind the inner workings of NUFC. A club that has locked down more secrets than North Korea

Was thinking that But try and remember that Gemmill will be spinning Status Quo’s Greatest Hits from noon til night on any given day

Honestly reckon this shit needs a 3 day ban attached. We all know who is credible and who isn’t ffs.

Just from that footage, I can tell that Gemmill uses an old DS stylus on his phone

Fans putting 2+2 together and getting 5 with regards to transfers is hardly the clubs problem

If we’re willing to sidestep this kid, there’ll be someone else they have lined up as a contingency. If he was even first choice to begin with. Apparently Barella was “Howe’s first choice” a week before he got his actual first choice with Tonali

The lass I was seeing in uni (she was Scottish, don’t worry) lived in a flat on the same street as that butchers What an unexpected bomb of sexual nostalgia

Normally when it all goes quiet, they’re up to something exciting. I’m going to predict another centre midfielder dropping out of nowhere in the next week once Tonali is announced

Anyone been watching the Popmaster TV show on More4? Thought I had some obscure nonsense rattling around but fucking hell, some of this lot must have total recall. One cunt knew Rose Royce’s real name. Hint: it’s not Rose

Could do with Goofy as third choice keeper

Nailed on that Ryder is a Wetherspoons man. I have no doubt in my mind

More likely that we just decided to fuck it off to look at others and now Leicester have had to accept £40m because their grand plan for a bidding war backfired. Diddums

Southampton may want £50 million for a 20 year old full back but I can guarantee they will not get it

That’s a couple of times in the last week that Edwards has launched his tongue straight up this Percy’s ringpiece so we know how he’s kept his job for a while anyway

Send Ashby out on loan while Livramento eases the burden on Trippier would be my guess. With the idea that Livramento is the future first choice once Trippier winds down. It’s something that Ashworth did at Brighton where you sign your star players replacement while they’re still there

Thai massage place should sort it out. Those women have the core strength of Olympic gymnasts. And if it doesn’t get sorted, find a dodgy parlour and they’ll bash one out for you

Give owa