Ayatollah Hermione

Right, Rothbury is confirmed Mag territory. Mark it down. That makes NE1, NE65 but strangely, nothing in between, ours

Honestly think Everton are capable of fucking this, you know. I bet they’d rather be away to a half-arsed Bournemouth than at home with a crowd who will get restless if they start slowly

“Back to basics” I wasn’t aware there was anything more basic than Lampard’s “everyone have fun out there, guys. And remember to score a goal” approach

That’s basically the same as here tbf Been fancying Italy so might look into it for a quieter trip. I can stay at your families gaff as well if you can put a word in

Save it for the name printers in the club shop, cowboy

That’s for match report writers and bland podcasters to figure out.

Maddison, Tierney and that Hungarian chap would be an insane start to the window

Well, I think it looks lush, you ignorant BASTARDS. Cheap for a pint?

Green River is a good tune as well. By virtue of being pretty much identical to Run Through The Jungle in most ways

I think it’ll be Rodgers tbh. Probably after a massively protracted run at getting everyone else

I know there’s a big U21s tournament coming up but you’ve got to feel for some of them not getting a look in against completely lacking opposition like Malta and North Macedonia. Maybe not in the defence but the likes of Ramsey, Gibbs-White and even Curtis Jones have an argument that they should have been integrated. Mind, at least Eric Dier isn’t in there

Have you tried looking for somewhere to eat in Sunderland? We tried before going to the Empire and it was like pulling teeth. The idea of anything other than Chinese buffets or Sambucas Standard Italians obviously hasn’t made it there yet. That Beyoncé menu is haute cuisine over there

Mind, that big flag last night had strong “celebrities painted on the side of a fun-fair waltzer” energy

Never mind that, Betfair have us as second favourites for the title next season

Couldn’t really care less about this now tbh Would be nice to get third but I expect us to be very hungover on Sunday afternoon

That was a frustrating game to be at but once we hit the post a THIRD time, I was more than happy to get a point. Full time was an outpouring of relief, joy and outright euphoria once Howe dropped his guard and gave it five nowt to the Leazes. I had a feeling after we twatted Spurs that we would do it but to actually wrap it up is incredible. Eddie Howe is bringing us silverware eventually. Bring on the “elite” and let’s bloody their fucking noses as well

BT Sport 1. It’s shite, like

Why watch that Man City nonsense when you can watch some proper football with the FA Trophy. Up the Heed

Why not 59%

Went to the World Cup though. Along with three of our actual current squad, not just lads who turned out for them for a season

It used to be Beyond so yes, smack dab in the Gate

Living vicariously through “Hendo” ten years after he left

I’m expecting a huffy resignation to be handed in if Villa get a point and we win on Monday, the goofy cunt

Think we’re being a bit premature about one good year at Burnley, mind. Next season will be a giant test

The CL is probably the thing that you’re remembered for as a club side and it’s probably what the players want to win these days but winning the Premier League these days is a ridiculous achievement. The quality is incredible these days and it’s relentless