Kitman

White bread, due to a genetic condition

* Fingers crotch and twirls on the spot *

to be fair there was probably only about 60% of the original Michael Jackson left anyway

Deed or not? Where's the reportage, people?

May I be the first to post an ode in his honour So farewell then Michael, it's come to a stop For the boy who wanted to never grow up You sang and you danced and sold records to millions And who can forget what you did to for the children

No more living off the wall then

Is he dead then? News sources just seem to be saying rushed to hospital

Christ, who's going to break it to Bubbles?

Move along, move along, nothing to see here.

An ode in honour of her passing Farewell then Farrah, your time has come You were an Angel, and now you are one You had anal cancer, it's sad and it's shameful Cos I never imagined that you ever did anal RIP

I'm starting to get into that mode now. I hate to be overly cynical and Parkyish but there's a whiff of piss-taking and conspiracy about the whole thing. I expect Hughton to lead us out against West Brom with our second string playing. I remember a time not so long ago when I used to be positive. There's no staying frosty anymore bud, Ashley's killed the spirit of everyone. Nonsense, we haven't kicked a ball in anger yet. Never surrender. It's always darkest before dawn. We shall overcome. And any other cliche I can think of. But seriously, there's an end of empire feel to all of this......I think Ashley's going and will be gone soon. I will keep on hoping.

laugh at mine you bastard, you must Rest assured they both got the same hearing

Number 23 in the Parky '101 Ways to Get Out of Jail' guidebook Number 1 is saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" over and over again. Not foolproof apparently.

To be fair, pissing on people's chips is more his speciality

Very sorry to hear about that, hope it doesn't ruin the day too much. Scumbags the lot of 'em.

Useful if you get Alzheimers I suppose. You should suggest he goes the whole hog and has his name, address, important birthdays, passwords and PIN code tattoed on there as well. There's plenty of room. Been watching Memento? No, is it worth watching?

Useful if you get Alzheimers I suppose. You should suggest he goes the whole hog and has his name, address, important birthdays, passwords and PIN code tattoed on there as well. There's plenty of room.

She should keep them. She'll look mint when she's a bag lady with a tea cosy on her head, pushing a supermarket trolley.

Regardless of the truth of the Mail article, I doubt Shearer can do any more to offload players than is already being done. It seems a bit silly to talk about him offloading players as if he only needs to wave his magic wand. Regardless of who Shearer wants to keep I expect the club has been frantically hawking around every member of the squad in a bid to cut costs and we've not shifted anyone yet. It's signing players where there's an issue imo, I imagine nothing will have been done in that regard unless Shearer's been tapping up players. We're probably already well behind our rivals in the CCC, as widely pointed out on here already. It's piss poor really.

Pretty much how I feel. Not interested in raking over why he left, time to move on.

mong + tattooed stars over face = mong with tattooed stars over face

Bless him, the silly old fool

25 December is being tipped as D-Day for toon fans anxious to hear news of the how the club's takeover is progressing. Weekly forecasts of D-Day have until now proved wide of the mark. However a club source who I've just made up said "This is the early Christmas present all the fans have been waiting for. Mike Ashley has always been serious about selling and this time it's going to go through in time for the new year". The resolution of the club's long running sale is good news for the club; with the approach of the January transfer window, there are fears that Shola Ameobi and Alan Smith might stay.

Yes. Been there, done that, let's move on.