Kitman

It's a very strange viewpoint from Barclay. I imagine Barcelona was bought by the fans back in the day. The circumstances now are completely different. Yet he uses it to pillory toon fans. I can't get my head round it really.

You and your cow jokes. What about the calves? WILL NO-ONE THINK OF THE CALVES? Something to ruminate on.

well apart from all that, life's just Fabulous! Love the computer throwing smiley. It was that or the anal smiley

And therein lies the problem. Why does it feels as though nothing is happening? Because more likely than not that's exactly what is happening. Ashley has zipped up his purse (or it's fucking empty and all he has left are 'assets'). Can see it now; He knew he was in financial trouble quite some time ago, but at the same time he was blabbing on about how he was going to be here now to take the club forward in some misguided attempt to make it appear that the ship had been steadied so that we were more appealing to potential buyers. In the meantime, he ensured that anyone who was close enough to see the rot that was eating the club away from the inside was corrupt, stupid or some combination of the two. It was all slipping away though, so in a desperate attempt to salvage the premier league status of the club he fronted with some actual money to slip Alan Shearer in at the helm of the sinking ship. It was too little too late and so the inevitable happened and Newcastle were relegated, negating any illusions of stability that Ashley had created (largely in his head). Queue the next desperate measure - listing the club for sale at a reduced price (from the bloated unrealistic figure he was asking not too long prior). A big discount it was, but Ashley has no credibility and with the world's economic climate in the state that it is noone was willing to throw any sort of line his way. All the while, the bills are piling up as Ashley attempts to not have to put anything else towards something that he desperately wants to get rid of. The ongoing stalling around the appointment of Shearer is just another way that Ashley was trying to put a fresh coat of paint on the mess without actually having to front with any additional money. Spot on imo. Here's some pointless speculation - to my mind there might be 2 sorts of buyers: 1. Serious wannabe Prem League player - keen to restore value by taking club straight back up, will spend money on the club, looking for long term capital gain 2. Bargain hunters/vultures - get discount price for the ongoing cash crisis and chaos from desperation to sell, looking for quick buck and very little cash to spend on the club Ashley was in the second camp all along I reckon but couldn't sell on the terms he wanted when he wanted. There must be a big risk that we won't get any from the first camp. One thing's for sure, Ashley will sell to the first punter who offers him enough money, he won't care one iota about their "plans" for the club (much like the sainted Sir John Hall). If I was a vulture I'd do whatever I could to spin out the current situation till things get truly desperate, then ride in and sweep up at a bargain price. Thank God they can't sell the ground. I'm praying there's a serious wannabe prem league player out there. If there is they might act decisively to stop the rot before it's too late, you never know.

Three words imo - Dennis f------ing Wise

well apart from all that, life's just Fabulous!

So the club's a shambles and being run like a pound shop. Tell us something we didn't know Xisco.

I'll join you in praying... Ashley: "Your God cannot help you now! Mwuhahahahaha!" * Twirls cape and disappears in a puff of black smoke *

Hopefully all parties will appreciate something has to be done on the football side as a priority. Another "caretaker" spell from Hughton is akin to football suicide. Doing nothing to remodel the squad is financial suicide. However pig-headed and stupid Ashley is (and he is considerably both), surely even he can see that doing nothing is not an option and will hurt him further in the wallet?

Did the police ever bring back the computers they confiscated when they raided the club?

"My God.....they've been so DAMNED IRRESPONSIBLE!"

Ashley strikes me as someone who does everything off the cuff. He probably woke up one day and thought 'fuck it, I've had enough'. I certainly hope so anyway. Maybe he's like the Dice Man? One - I sign Shearer as manager Two - I sell the club Three - I stick my wife's dildo up my arse Etc More like the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Who's going to cross the streams and get rid of the fucker? Me and you - in those bogs in the Biggie? Yoinks

Ashley strikes me as someone who does everything off the cuff. He probably woke up one day and thought 'fuck it, I've had enough'. I certainly hope so anyway. Maybe he's like the Dice Man? One - I sign Shearer as manager Two - I sell the club Three - I stick my wife's dildo up my arse Etc More like the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Who's going to cross the streams and get rid of the fucker?

Ashley strikes me as someone who does everything off the cuff. He probably woke up one day and thought 'fuck it, I've had enough'. I certainly hope so anyway. Maybe he's like the Dice Man? One - I sign Shearer as manager Two - I sell the club Three - I stick my wife's dildo up my arse Etc

That's the spirit! You never know we could see the back of Ashley within a month...

Totally agree.

You also deliberately misspelt 'noticeable'. Do I get a prize too?

I wholeheartedly agree with the police officer. Anybody over the age of 70 should be tasered without mercy. Never mind resisting arrest, they should be tasered wherever they form an obstruction to normal citizens going about their business - in a queue, in the shops, at the doctor's, in the street, starting an unsolicited chat. Or if they're boring you. All adults between the ages of 18 and 70 should be issued with tasers and authorised to perform a 'Citizen's Taser' whenever the siutation warranted it and even if it doesn't. The lives of productive men and women would be greatly improved and it would be fun too. 70 year olds valuable to society could apply for a special card to wear around their necks to exempt them from peremptory justice. The rest of the time wasting scrounging old bastards would have to take their chances going about their business. I think this should be considered. We could also include MPs and town councillors who would be required to wear targets on their front and back for easy identification.

Melt the pair down should be just enough for a statue of big Mike. I can picture it now, a fat bastard downing a pint and sticking two fingers up to the fans....the younger fans could pull it down with a rope Saddam-stylee and smash it to bits when he finally goes. Would make great telly for Sky now I think about it....

IS that supposed to be wor jackie on the left?!! He looks like a one armed backy-slap with legs you can drive a pig through!

This selling lark ain't gonna be so easy. Granted. It's all about the price innit.

I personally think he'll sell, I can't see how he'd be better off by putting the club into administration. I think what's happening is he's flogging his car but refusing to pay for any more petrol or running costs. He's gambling that he can sell the car before the petrol runs out. Obviously there might be some shenanigans we don't know about it and I'm more nervous about it the longer the sale process goes on. Him and LLambias look as dodgy as, I wouldn't trust them to mind my pint while I go to the bogs frankly. But based on what I've read to date I think he just wants out asap and I think he'd prefer to sell up to achieve that, it's the quickest/cleanest/best option from his pov.

Worst WUM ever

Those statues are hilariously bad. They look like garden gnome footballers. There seems to be an unrelenting stream of bad press about the club at the moment, I wouldn't be at all surprised if someone like FFS was behind it [/conspiracy]