acrossthepond

Not a chance. You're right, the bullshit-o-meter has really been ratcheted up this window, starting with the unbelievable load of horseshit from SSN that we're "interested in signing up to 4 players this window." Aye, "up to four" includes 0. Expectations have been well and truly lowered around here. Some would say it's just clearing up the unrealistic delusions of the post-SBR through relegation era, but I'd say it's more like ripping away the heart and soul of a club with the obvious potential to be a top 4 contender and transforming us into a Fulham or Aston Villa - a nothing club with no aspirations and no future beyond mediocrity. Nobody should be happy with the direction the club is headed in. It's a slow inching slide into full-on, total also-ran status at best. I'll let you contemplate what it is at worst.

I guarantee Kinnear has had no influence on the club whatsoever beyond a sudden shortness of loose change in the pay phones surrounding SJP, an odd smell emanating from the gents' most days of the week, and an astonishing increase in the "Director of Football - Unspecified expenses" column of our budget. After he's lost favour with Ashley or whatever happens to get him thrown out on his alkie arse in a few years' time, we'll hear from players and staff alike about the surreal experience that was JFK as DoF: "He used to wander the halls like something out of the Walking Dead. You'd try to avoid eye contact so he wouldn't have to pretend to know who you were." - Mike Williamson "Sometimes we'd pass by his door and hear him yelling things like, 'I don't give a fack, Graham, we're signing John Hartson and that's fackin' it!' But there was no-one else inside his office...." - Cheik Tiote "He called me Shirley." - Shola Ameobi

He's done sweet fuck all which was all he was ever intended to do. Pulled the plug on a perfectly good free transfer, recruited a bottleless mercenary who was practically already our player last January until he followed the money, and has even had time for a vacation. Not bad for six months' sitting around on his fat alkie arse. The fish stinks from the head, though. If Ashley wanted us to make signings, we'd be making them. Hiring JFK was pretty much a statement of intent - or lack thereof. The only aim is strict midtable mediocrity. Finish too low and we could be relegated; finish too high and we could qualify for the Europa League, which just brings us more unnecessary cup games that we might need reinforcements for. Domestic cups are the same - distractions that congest our schedule and make injuries (which then require cover signings, and thus $$$) more likely. I am confident that with the squad, manager, and owner we have that we can accomplish this aim.

Naturally. So was McManawhatever's on Haidara as well, but Debuchy completely missing a player is a three-game ban for violent conduct. (Not that I don't think Debuchy should've been sent off, but I can't fathom how utter butchery like de Jong or McFucker gets nothing and Debuchy gets three games for a reckless tackle clearly and obviously intended to win the ball, which he accomplished without touching any other player.)

Short memories considering the horrific de Jong "tackle" on HBA. No surprise really as many of them won't have actually been fans when that happened and were still supporting Oldham or Bolton.

If and only if we have any plans to get a replacement, since selling Cisse will leave us with exactly one senior striker we actually own. I don't understand how our attackers have been so neglected for so long. We've needed reinforcements up front ever since Best and Lovenkrands went and we've never got them or even looked close to getting them. Cisse came in, aye, but then his form went to shit and Ba was sold, and since then we've never looked convincing up top. 2 goals in his last 10 for Remy as well, and both of them against a side reduced to 9 men. He looks like he could not be bothered whatsoever - no surprise, since he surely won't be wearing black and white next season, thank God. We need replacements and we need them badly.

Mine is pretty self-explanatory. "Owathewatta" might've been a better Geordie name but I went with the American version. Ketsbaia was my first choice but it was taken! I liked "A NICE HAT." I think I've said that before. Parkmenistan also made me laugh, cheers Chez.

I think ewerk's insinuation about being signed to try to get Coloccini to go back to Argentina sounds like the most likely theory. It didn't happen, and the club didn't like how he was handling the youth (because he wasn't "playing the game" of keeping on shit young 'uns who have rich or popular parents) so they decided they had no real use for him and gave him the sack without bothering to explain why.

No interest in signing him permanently anyway. I think barring a few games he's been no more than an average premier league striker, and that's not good enough for the fee and wages we'd be expected to pay, especially when you will get no loyalty at all in return. He was shit against the mackems and has been poor consistently over the last 5 games, not counting a pair of goals in a rout of 9-man Stoke.

Of course there is - an attempt to make it look as though we're trying to buy players and "just couldn't get them over the line" or "the financial climate wasn't right for buying" or "we won't be held to ransom." Those pesky fans, they keep expecting poor Mike to buy new players every transfer window. It's not as though the squad has needed strength in depth ever since promotion, or is lacking just a key player or two for a European challenge. So the perennial bullshit rumours and eleventh-hour bids for players we have no interest in is designed to placate the fans.

So, basically just media bullshit. Nothing concrete at all.

Not something you'll ever need to be worrying about

That filthy cunt Amalfitano has cleaned out a couple of our players now and has been whining at the lino all game. Ref seems content to let him continue...

As said, which player we've sold since Ashley came in has actually improved his career? Milner. Am I missing anyone?

Aye but I feel like a bit of a cheat when I skip games in a series.

Was it any good? Bioshock 2, that is. Played the first one and loved it, have 2 and Infinite but I heard 2 was a bit meh so I've been reluctant to start it, but I don't want to play Infinite (which I'm pretty sure is going to be good) until I've done 2.

Part of me wants to set up 4-4-2 and bring in Shola for Ben Arfa, with Tiote and Cabaye in midfield and Sissoko/Gouffran out wide. Remy often looks isolated as a lone striker and I don't think he's very effective at all in that role, and Shola will bother their centre-halves and make a nuisance of himself, which will give us another dimension to our attack. But I think Pardew will line up 4-5-1 with Anite, Tiote, and Cabaye in the centre of midfield. We will need a lot of harrier-type players in the midfield against Arsenal and Anita is good for that role. Can't see HBA starting no matter what formation. Pardew doesn't trust him to be disciplined enough on defence and we'll probably be doing a lot of that tomorrow.

I think I share the same view as most of you - the first yellow was soft but Whelan didn't have to be a dullard, he could've walked away. Second yellow was unquestionable. The red and penalty were equally unquestionable. Williamson's handball should've been given, that's a legitimate complaint. The HBA cross was inconclusive to me. The refereeing was of a poor standard, especially in the second half, when Atkinson knew the game was over as a contest and started giving sympathy decisions. Shawcross should've walked and gave away what seemed two clear penalties to me, one for pushing Cabaye over in the box and the other for yet another shocking tackle on Haidara, who seems to get cut in half at least once a game. But anything that happened after the second red barely counts. The game was lost at that point and those two reds were legitimate, so if Stoke are looking for someone to blame, it starts with their completely undisciplined manager who spat his dummy out and it's no surprise that his players did the same, the bunch of scabby mackem-coloured cunts. Fuck Stoke anyway, nothing side who hopefully will soon disappear into the oblivion from which they came. Not long now if they hang on to Hughes for much longer.

Not that he isn't, I just feel a red may be on the cards.

We need to take Tiote off in the very near future.

Shola will probably take his place with Anita and Cabaye in the midfield of a 4-4-2

Perhaps he'll appoint another friend of the family. A 24-year-old Estonian, maybe, whose only football experience is willing La Liga 16 times in a row with Real Madrid on Football Manager. Laughable. It almost makes you wonder what would happen if Ashley tried to take us down that road....

I don't trust Ashley with the CL money, so I can't put any stock in the argument that "finishing in the top 4 means financial prosperity and thus the funds to attract a higher calibre of players and advance the club." He'd pocket most of it and we'd be little better off. Nobody could take a Cup win away from us, however, and it'd be something to cherish for all our lives. So yeah, cup.

Kinnear replacing Pardew is so obviously going to happen at some point in our relatively near future that I almost wish he'd do it now and get the misery over with. Having that drunken fuck constantly hanging around, rummaging through the bins, checking pay phones for loose change, must be like a Sword of Damocles for poor Pardew.

I wouldn't trust Ashley to give me the time of day.