acrossthepond

Paper talk only. I'd go so far as to say Colback will never sign for NUFC.

Cracking! Nearly died laughing at the wildlings/white walkers, the nervous sheep, the random "twats" floating NW of Lahndan, "shit cats", and "looks like a cock"

I agree with all of David Kelly's list except I don't think Sissoko has been disappointing. I think he's one of the few players we have left who you feel could contribute anything in terms of attacking play. I'm a huge Gouffran fan but there's no denying he's gone completely off the boil as of late. Looks completely disinterested and he's not the only one. Potential outgoings this summer: Remy/de Jong (loans will end), Shola/Gosling (leaving on frees), Colo (has wanted to leave for ages), Ben Arfa (manager doesn't want him and he doesn't want to be here), Krul (plenty of teams could use a keeper of his quality), Debuchy (too good to be playing here at present), possibly Cisse, other fringe players like Taylor/Jonas/Obertan/Marveaux/Amalfitano. That scenario, which I don't even think is particularly pessimistic, would leave us with: Cisse (maybe) Gouffran Sammy Ameobi Anita Tiote Sissoko Haidara MYM Williamson Santon Elliott And that is an XI that would surely be relegated. Investment is needed. The fat man must know that, or if he doesn't, there must be someone at the club who's enough of a man to tell him so. But who? Not Pardew...probably not Charnley...Carr? Wasn't the appointment of Kinnear intended to weaken Carr's position? Is he out of favour with Ashley? Either way the situation is dire.

Wouldn't that be something.

I want to like The Mag but sometimes I really get the feeling that they like it when things go wrong. There's a bizarre current of masochism running through that Debuchy piece that's a little off-putting. "Looks like Debuchy's off, that's us fucked, this is terrible, why do I have a semi?"

Must be taking the piss with this shit.

AC3 (way behind the times, I know. I only buy them when they go on 75% off on Steam) & Crusader Kings II. Both brilliant.

I'm always at my most hateful at this time of day. I've just had a full day with the little shits, am done with teaching for the day but can't contractually leave until 3, so I'm stuck here for an hour with no-one to vent to. Thanks for everything, internet.

I fucking despise Liverpool with every ounce of my being. I hate Gerrard, I loathe Suarez, I can't stand Rodgers, the mention of "SAS" makes me want to puke out my soul, and I hope they win nothing for the next 50 years. I'd far prefer Man U, City, Chelsea, or Arsenal. I'd rather fucking Everton won the league than Liverpool. There's a sickening, never-ending wankfest in the Liverpool-preferring media that keeps the pressure off them when they're shit and bolsters them when they're not. "Anfield magic", "European nights", "proper fans", "Liverpool Football Club", all of that shit that none of City, Arsenal, or even Spurs get. Man U got it because they deserved it, not to mention that media outlets were afraid of Fergie. And that's before even getting into what a bunch of tossers their fans are.

CT has to be the most boring poster on the board. His posts could literally be written by an algorithm. GET {from_among_NewcastleForum_posts} {PlayerNameMostMentioned;range=last_week} - IF {ReferencedPosts} include {good;great;brill;excellent;quality;class;top;wonder} THEN post @{RandomThread} Nonsense. {Grownups;real men;football fans;most Newcastle fans} know that {PlayerNameMostMentioned} is {rubbish;terrible;poor;letting the team down;a disappointment;a luxury;inept}. Stick to {watching from the couch;playing Football Manager;watching the Spanish league} you {numpties;morons;children} {smileyemoticon}. - IF {ReferencedPosts} include {rubbish;terrible;poor;letting the team down;a disappointment;a luxury;inept} THEN post @{RandomThread} Nonsense. {Grownups;real men;football fans;most Newcastle fans} know that {PlayerNameMostMentioned} is {good;great;brill;excellent;quality;class;top;wonder}. Stick to {watching from the couch;playing Football Manager;watching the Spanish league} you {numpties;morons;children} {smileyemoticon}. p.s. before I get pulled up on it, I know that doesn't reference real code in any way, shape, or form.

I'm not suggesting any such thing. In my post yesterday I made it clear that half the squad needs replacing. While obviously the blame for our pathetic displays and lack of any ambition whatsoever lies with Ashley, Pardew is a net negative and as such needs to be replaced. Just saying "we might get someone worse" or "he's just a symptom" didn't stop us from wanting Allardyce or Kinnear out, because they were fucking diabolical, just like Pardew,

Pardew is a known quantity - he's bloody rubbish, he's a yes man for Ashley, and he's an arrogant git who wants punching. I accept that anyone Ashley brings in will also be prepared to act as his yes man and toe the party line, so there'll be no change on that front. Maybe his replacement will be a better manager (not hard), or maybe he'll be just as shit, but he'll be less of a fucking wanker who I'm embarrassed to have representing my club in front of the world (also not hard.) Willing to roll those dice.

Done with this useless fucker. He needs to go along with the deadwood that clutters our squad. Keep Debuchy (though he'll probably be off), Sissoko, Anita, Tiote, Gouffran (although on the evidence of the last two games...), Krul, Santon, and the kids, chuck the rest, and start over. Of course that'll never happen - it'll still be the automatic excuse generator at the helm next season, minus anyone of quality left, with the few decent players remaining shoehorned into a shit formation, with de Jong signing permanently.

Hmmm...Ashley is a money-grubbing cunt. We got off to a poor start.

I always feel we look better when we have Sissoko coming through the middle to pounce on loose balls at the edge of the box. Both Tiote and Anita are somewhat averse (understandably) to throwing themselves forward, so often one of our strikers ends up out in a wide area with no-one for support. Sissoko should be providing that support from midfield with late runs into the box like Cabaye used to do.

Sissoko's natural tendency is to go inside and Gouffran was utterly useless on Saturday - he looked to be carrying a knock but either way he really didn't fancy it out wide. If we're relying on full-backs to provide our only width, we're in trouble, and I hope that's something that's addressed in the summer.

Christ, that's a bit hard on Ant.

The lack of creativity in our side since Cabaye went is crippling. For all the hard work Tiote and Anita put in, they're virtually clones of each other and offer little to nothing going forward. Sissoko is being wasted out wide when he should be playing behind the strikers, and Gouffran is a definite attacking force, but not much of a creator. Ben Arfa brings a lot of baggage and he's frustrating more often than not, but without Cabaye we simply can't afford not to play him. We need somebody to fashion chances and the rest of the team is not set up to do that. It was Cabaye's role as conductor, but he's gone and Ben Arfa has to step up.

GET IN @%$@!%WQFRWGFWQFTy#@Rt

Poor change. We need more attacking players on since we're so sparse in the box. de Jong should've stayed on with Gouffran off for HBA.

I don't mean to belabor the point but I can't figure out just what Gouffran is doing. He's standing roughly where Tiote usually does and barely moving, just playing short passes in midfield. If he's in the centre, then who's on the wing? Anita? Dummett? It's not working, whatever it is.

Goofy looks completely fucked. Standing around in the centre of the pitch doing absolutely nothing. I didn't see an injury but he's just strolling and doesn't look fit to continue.

It gets really flat after a little while. I played it during closed beta and it got old quite quickly. OK to durdle around on a tablet with if you're watching TV or something, and it is free so nee bother if you stop liking it, but it's not the most strategically deep game out there.

He'll be on his arse when the season's over, I think. Man U are already so deep in debt that they can't afford to forfeit a legitimate source of revenue in the CL, not to mention the drop in shirt sales/overseas sponsorship/etc as their "fans" abroad begin to desert after - God forbid! - a season as also-rans.

I think you should take some more time off or ask for reduced hours for a while, if possible. The sensitivity and dizziness are classic signs of a recurring concussion. It takes time to restore normal brain function after a concussion and it happens in stages - any overwork, physical or mental, during any of the stages and a re-injury might occur.