acrossthepond

I killed him last week. That's a Rushdiebot out there. His next book, "Dr. Strangelove, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love Islam" comes out next week. Also most of the MPs are now Muslimbots as well and Commons will hear our referendum on implementing sharia law next month. All part of our grand plot to take over the Western world, orchestrated from our intricate network of caves in Brumistan. We'd have got the show on the road sooner but we kept having to interrupt our meetings for our 5-times-daily prayers to Allah.

I'd love it if Geordie Boy Lee Clark came in as assistant but I doubt he'd leave Huddersfield.

Which is half the threads in GC now. Thoroughly boring even for me, someone who likes to discuss the topic.

Made up hullabaloo now that the Liverpool saga is definitely over. The hacks need a new blow-up to write about.

Bizarre tactical choices aren't doing him any good. Guthrie over Routledge today was a head-scratcher, and this coming from someone who isn't really a fan of Routledge. Playing Lovenkrands over Shola was another weird one and hopefully Shola will start our next home game as I'd say that barring our anomalous thrashing of Villa, Shola's been better on balance than Carroll. And finally, persevering with a player pretty much everyone can tell is terrible is only going to cost us more points and I hope Hughton has the bottle to write Perch off as a failed gamble and consign him to the reserves. That's not to say that Hughton has been awful, but he's been far from great. I think our best team really picks itself and I'm a little worried that he seems to feel the need to make constant alterations to that team.

Nowt against you mate, I realise you are putting across your case with patience and are probably a good bloke I'm just saying, if I were you I wouldn't go near Bradford or Birmingham anytime soon. are you confirming that parts of the UK are now off limits to UK citizens, courtesy of peaceful and tolerant muslims who believe in freedom of speech ala UK laws and democracy ? How has that came about ? Where next ? I'm saying that I was definitely having a joke with you as I thought you knew. I think.

Get the fuck in!

Tiote and Enrique probably the only ones who have broken a sweat. The rest of these wankers seem content to let Wigan run all over us. Pathetic. Perch needs to be dropped (preferably back to the Championship). I don't care how bad R. Taylor is, he isn't this bad. And I'm not sure Lovenkrands shouldn't join him, he has been absolutely nowhere to be found in this game.

Bad feeling about this one.

Nowt against you mate, I realise you are putting across your case with patience and are probably a good bloke I'm just saying, if I were you I wouldn't go near Bradford or Birmingham anytime soon.

I'm issuing a fatwa on this topic. All loyal Muslims are called upon to kill anyone who posts after me.

"It could go tits up with this one as well, it remains to be seen, but anything is better than Fat Fred." © Toontastic 2007

Ludicrous policy that has endangered the lives of thousands of American soldiers since 2003. Good riddance, if this ruling stands.

1 infidel down, only 5 billion more to go.

No, we didn't even make it out of the 7th century before the split occurred. Some (especially zealous) Shi'a commentators say it happened as soon as the Prophet died in 632 and Ali was not appointed his rightful successor, but most less biased historians make it 680, the battle of Karbala, where Hussein (Ali's son and successor) was killed by the Sunnis. What did happen regarding the Shi'a in the 1500s was that Persia and much of Iraq became Shi'a when previously no really powerful nations followed that branch of the religion, so that could be where you got that idea.

Prepare to be corrected again - in the 7th century, we probably didn't have "carpets" (those were from Persia, who certainly weren't Muslim at the time), we (or the world) didn't have coffee until the 1400s, and algebra wasn't codified into one discipline until the 8th century. The 7th century - well, picture a vast sandy desert somewhere in the middle of a much vaster sandy desert in the Arabian Peninsula - what we now call Saudi Arabia - where small bands of independent tribes (heavily inbred no doubt) herded camels, warred with one another, occasionally wrote poetry and recited it at inter-tribe meetings, and visited small cities built around oases (such as Mecca). Then the Prophet came, warred with the city folk of Mecca, was eventually thrown out for being a 'heretic', fled across the desert to Medina, raised an army, defeated the city dwellers at Mecca and unified the tribes into the nation of Islam, then began to go out and spread the new religion. That's what the Islamists want to return to - a society dominated entirely by religion and religious law, headed by a ruler who can trace his right to rule from the original Rightly-Guided caliphs, who spread their religion and culture through warfare. I hope you can understand that the rest of us - that is, the vast majority - have no intention of going back to that way of life and do not support those who do.

It's 7th century. 7th. Wouldn't want you to commit a factual error to go along with your ignorance and racism, you've got enough on your plate. Islam wasn't that bad in the early days - certainly pissed on Europe's dark ages in terms of scientific progress etc - I think it was about the 16th century when it started to go a bit wrong. What happened in the 1500s that made it go wrong? The Ottoman Empire was still at its strongest then. No, it was the late 19th century when Islamic civilisation entered a terminal decline ending in the fall of the Ottomans and the rise of Islamism as a political philosophy, then the early 20th century post-WWI period when Western colonial powers set up dictatorships in the former Ottoman territories that endure to this day (see Saudi, Jordan, most of the Gulf states, etc). What I said about the 7th century was referring to his "turn back the clock" comment. Nobody wants to turn back the clock to the 1300s. The radicals say they're going to re-implement the caliphate, shari'a, etc - all of which dates from the 7th century, the time of the Prophet.

It's 7th century. 7th. Wouldn't want you to commit a factual error to go along with your ignorance and racism, you've got enough on your plate.

So far down he's underground, I hope. That's one way to get a player out of contract. Vuckic has looked useless when I've seen him. Can't say I'm on expert on him or anything, but v. Accrington and Chelsea he was anonymous throughout in my opinion.

I still want an answer. Hughton's a nice guy, nice guys finish last, essentially another "loser." So who's a winner?

OK then. Who's a winner in English football that we could get to manage us? If not Hughton - and I didn't want him in the Championship, didn't want him managing in the Premier League, and still am not sold on him - then who? If I thought we could genuinely do better I'd be rid of him in a flash. But who can we attract that will do a better job?

And indoor toilets. And chess. And Noureen DeWulf.

Which self-help book did you find that in? You're just another inbred loser who can't recognize a winner. Ugh, I spelled "recognize" with a "z." Crucify me now before the St George's brigade gets here. I'll even provide the nails.

Ever since I had my two front teeth broken as a youngun and some fucking quack gave me a plastic cap that fell out a week later as I was eating a creme egg - not an apple or a raw carrot, mind, a creme egg! - I've not trusted any of them and I won't go back. I keep meaning to go to the NYU dentistry school and have mine looked at by someone who isn't an overpaid hack looking to gut me for everything I own, but so far haven't.

I'm not on the bandwagon. Reading and Hull came up and had fantastic debuts and beat big teams and then went straight down the toilet next season (or in Hull's case, in the second half of their first season.) I'm worried that these unlikely points they're grabbing now will keep them ahead of us during the lean winter that's no doubt to come for them, kind of like Hull, and they'll end up staying up ahead of us.