Gemmill

If we get 6 points by beating Chelsea, we're fully sorted. If we get 6 points, but lose to Chelsea and: - Chelsea beat Forest, we're sorted - Forest beat Chelsea, we'd be on 69 points along with Chelsea and it would come down to GD....which, if they've beaten us, probably doesn't go in our favour.

You even got to take a holiday from being a Yorkshireman.

As if the yorkshireman wasn't casting his eye at the prices.

Do YOU even understand what a PREDICTION is, PREDICKSPLASH?

Are we all forgetting that Pickford completely loses his head at SJP? Didn't he get dropped for one of their visits in the last 5 years cos it all gets too much for him?

Do you know any tunes other than the funeral march?

That invitation was not open to Rasta Mung Bean.

I've updated my excellent analysis, I just won't be sharing it with you ingrates.

Palace unchanged from the side that battered Villa.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2025/may/05/antony-real-betis-isco-kidnap-manchester-united-la-liga Another Man United player that appears to have left and started looking like a good player again. Antony this time.

Hello, this isn't the Toontastic forum you think it is. This is a forum about the football team, Newcastle United. 👍

https://stefanborson.substack.com/p/explained-the-new-premier-league?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1780285&post_id=162824226&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=172gw&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email Article about what the new PL TV deal means. EVERY fixture outside of 3pm Saturday kick offs will be televised, and that means that 3pm Saturday kick offs are going to become an endangered species. There are 113 possible 3pm Saturday kick offs next season, but even some of them will get moved.

It'll be just our luck for them to put out the bairns to avoid injury for the cup final.

Aye Palace beating Forest would be very welcome. Means they can win all their remaining games after that, and still be behind us on GD if we get 6 points.

Tdansmith started chatting daft stuff that he was reading on twitter and then misunderstood me advising him to leave twitter as me advising him to leave here, and promptly left. Hasn't posted since. Read all about it here:

You were blatantly sucking lads off for ticket money. I can read between the lines.

Looking forward to us winning the Premier League, only to be told it wasn't as good as being in the second division.

A very stupid man with dreadlocks.

Lads. Applying the assumptions outlined, if we get anything less than 69 points (6 from our remaining 3 games), we cannot finish in the CL places. Doesn't matter how we get those points. Obviously if other teams drop points, that changes, but what I was doing is looking at the "where are we cast iron safe regardless of other teams winning all their games?"

Not even close. We'd be on 67 points and Villa would be on 69 (applying assumptions outlined). We'd be fucked.

I thought somebody needed to take control of the situation and actually do the work. Instead of you sat with a bowl of mung beans, trying to count out different amounts for each team.

You want a fucking hiding is what you want.

I didn't think I needed to post "and if we get less than 6 points then in basically all scenarios we'd be fucked because even Villa would finish ahead of us" but apparently somebody needed that clarifying for SOMEBODY.

Exec Summary (because thick people) : In a worst case scenario outcome where everyone around us picks up maximum points, we can still guarantee CL qualification in 7 out of 8 possible scenarios if we get a minimum of 6 points from our remaining games. Anything less than 6 points and we need teams around us to start dropping points, so those scenarios haven't been considered. Been looking at results combos this morning, and looking at different scenarios. Assumptions as follows: Everyone takes maximum points from their remaining games, except for when they play one another When they do play one another, we consider both maximum points returns (i.e. Forest beat Chelsea vs Chelsea beat Forest) Villa (+6) and Forest (+14) will not catch Newcastle (+21) and Chelsea (+21) on GD Taking the above assumptions, then: If we get 7 points from our remaining three games, regardless of how those points are earned and regardless of results combinations in the other games, then we absolutely cannot be beaten to a CL place. If we get 6 points from our remaining three games, there is only one scenario (we lose to Chelsea, and Forest beat Chelsea) where we would be at risk of not making it to a CL place. In that one scenario, we've still got a chance but we would need to be ahead of Chelsea on GD. Summary table showing final point positions for each scenarios as follows: Shout if you see anything that I've done wrong.

Hopefully Eddie has a cunning plan for these and Arsenal.