Smooth Operator

Apparently the liver-lover is stable now in intensive care.

See the Another cry of rape thread mate - the smart money is on Nadia, but whether she/he is the rapist or victim is undecided. Depending on how her op went she could be both!

No doubt will be but i'd rather Gazza was still around football than not at all! He's a belta i reckon, thick as pig's shit but if someone comes and says "do you want to manage this club" then it's there own fault. I remember one of Gazza's most memorable moments, i was watching a documentary about when Gazza was playing in China and he was staying in a hotel over there, to while away the hours he and Jimmy 5 bellies thought they'd go fishing, fair enough but they decided to try and catch the ridiculously expensive coy carp in the hotel ponds rather than nip down the coast! They were going at them with some bamboo and using bread as bait! Then scarpered like naughty school boys when someone from the hotel appeared!

He'll just be a face to front the club and attract some players/fans in, Paul Davis & the director of football will probably be pulling a lot more strings than Gazza and making all the important decisions, i can see Gazza's role as more of a social secretary than anything else.

Easy Gemmill, he was working on the hot food today, had to pretend i hadn't made up my mind what i wanted when he asked what i wanted (at least that's what i thought he'd said, it was just a series of grunts) so i let the girl behind get served so i could get served off someone else! The hot food part isn't conducive to taking photo's of unsuspecting facial non-conformists anyway, i'll have to wait til he's back on sarnies til i can speak a snap of him onto my phone. But don't fear Gemmill i'll get it soon enough, rumours are rife via the PM network that he's your better looking brother!

Go naked and scare the bejesus out of everyone!

Wtf have you been telling people Wacky, loose lips sink ships!

Is it "stable" enough for the "ride"? Does her "Best Mate" make "hay" in there too? I'm feeling a little "horse" today.

You should work in tv with your editing skills son.

A mud bed you say, ideal for storing the remains of a Monroe Transfer session! Bet you can "wash the dog" in there nee botha too?

There's some morons work on the catering here like, got my dinner one day and they have to write on the box what it is so the cashier can tell me the price, this young lass served me my chips and then wrote ships on the box. Maybe she was French or perhaps she was just thick as fuck. Same lass pushes a trolley around the floors in the mornings, i bought 3 slices of toast for 42p and gave her 50p, she got the calculator out to work out my change!

Wasn't just the bed though Wacky was it, it was the bath, the sofa, the kitchen worktop, they even had the cheeck to perform the Monroe Transfer on your water bed. I'm sure Callum has done this to his fatha plenty of times, perhaps that's what's pushed Bestie back to the bottle after the op?

Spot on. He's the Birkenstock king.

Close, it's Ashington High Street.

Your avatar is a little red cross. 49989[/snapback] Changed it for you AF, not to what i would choose but every other photo i use doesn't work!

Yes Who raped who? Has she had the full op yet or is it her thats tackled him from behind? That would give the winging foreign cunt something to squeal about. Before the sandal wearers start about the foreign bit, yes i hate every cunt, especially sandal wearer's. Anyone who muzzles their feet has serious issues 49991[/snapback] One of my mates muzzles his feet regular, can you guess which one Wacky?

Well played BlueStar for getting back to the topic, lets just stick to the jokes, decide in our own minds if we find them amusing, offensive, sick etc and not get into debates about them in the JOKES thread, not that i've got any jokes to share like, but i do enjoy reading them, just don't want to have to trawl though pages of arguements about whose joke was racist, politically incorrect etc, etc.

The front of the Sun today reports that a Big Brother star has been raped, now i'm just putting 2 and 2 together and maybe getting 5 but could this not be the same incident Cristiano Ronaldo's is involved in? Therefore my money is on the "victim" being the Portuguese Man-o-war her/himself Nadia! The connections are there, they are both over dramatic Portuguese twats! Anyone have any conflicting information?

It's building 6, do you work at Longbenton like pud?

He's definitely a toff like and while I wouldn't mind going to Wimbledon I bet it's wall-to-wall wankers. 49827[/snapback] That's the thing it'll be full of strawberry eating nonces listening to Cliff on their ipods praying for rain so that they might get the real thing. Also is it just me or do the female fans on Centre Court everytime Tim Henman plays look like they've never had a cock up them in decades?!?

That's fair dues i suppose, just don't like the look of the upper class knob, his dad is even worse! Smarmy twat! Every year at Timbledon it's the same old shite, some jumped up patriotic wankers sitting all day on Henman Hill in the rain after having queued for a week, probably the same cunts who shed tears when Princess Di died. Used to like and look forward to Wimbledon before all this uncalled for hype started.

is working on our sandwich counter at work, he's a cross between the bloke off the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Leatherface is it?) and the guy who played Jaws in the Bond films. I was innocently standing in the queue at noon awaiting my usual sarnie when i clapped eyes on this circus freak, now there was no way i was gonna have a sarnie prepared by this vision of beauty so i elected for a pre-made sarnie. I I'm gonna try and get a photo of him on my phone and post it cos it's a must see - the poor bastard! Must be from out in the sticks, some backward place like Ashington i reckon.

Henmania has taken a dramtic dip in recent years and i for one am very pleased the talentless toff prick is getting a good hiding! It's the most cringing moment in modern sport when Henman clenches a fist after winning a point on Centre Court.

Nice photo, who took that for you? looks professional 49596[/snapback] Some nonce i bumped into in Heaton Park, he was wondering around the park taking photos of the bairns playing so i ushered him off to one side and got him to take some snaps of my car instead of perving on the kids! Dirty bastard, i knocked him out and chucked him in the bushes (a la the Mitchell brothers)shortly after this snap was taken.