Brock Manson

I don't think Snoop Dogg could do any better tbh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLQRv0RjBBM I don't know whether it's disturbingly funny or just plain disturbing.

People would still spell them wrong.

'Your' and 'you're' is also frequently abused. Sort it out.

Been slurping your good pal Jack Daniels again? now sweetcheeks...ther is no need !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why whatever could you be referring to madam? keepalling mre madam ....m elike it Crivens!

Think it's been posted before but... A vicar is walking around his parrish when he hears an excited yell coming from the docks. He makes his way over to find the local fisherman jumping for joy and shouting: "Look at the size of this fucker!" The vicar coughs and the fisherman blushes. "Oh sorry father, but this type of fish is called a fucker." He offers him the fish and the vicar gladly accepts. "We're expecting the archbishop for dinner tonight, so we can cook him this fucker! Thankyou my son!" He beams. Returning to the church, the vicar meets one of the local nuns who is busy preparing food for the archbishop's arrival. "Sister, we can serve this fucker tonight for the archbishop!" The nun gasps at the vicar's language, but after he explains himself she agrees that they should cook the fish. After the archbishop arrives and sits down to eat, the nun brings in the fish and sets it upon the table. "I was there when they caught this fucker!" Smiles the vicar. Not wanting to be outdone, the nun says "Well I cooked the fucker!" The archbishop looks around in bewilderment before leaning back in his chair and saying: "You know what? You cunts are alright."

FYP. Cath's a matron? I can be if you want me to (If Mrs R is reading this - I'm joking, J!! ) you naughty naughty girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been slurping your good pal Jack Daniels again? now sweetcheeks...ther is no need !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why whatever could you be referring to madam?

Since times are hard for Bernard Matthews, he visits the Pope in Rome in search for better fortune in light of his recent crisis. The Pope blesses him, and without thinking, Matthews asks if he could have the Lord's Prayer altered from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "our daily turkey". Aghast, the Pope declines to change the prayer, but Matthews insists and offers the Pope £5million for the change. Still the Pope says no. Desperate, and not wanting such a marketing ploy escape him, Matthews offers £5million to the Church, and 5 to the Pope himself. The man sighs and reluctantly agrees, heading off to face his council. "I have good news and bad news my sons. The good news is we're £5million richer.... The bad news is we've lost the contract with Hovis."

Been slurping your good pal Jack Daniels again?

R Kelly - If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time

Because he's a pretty hard bastard? Well maybe. Although that one he did today was shite. *Cowers* Why the fuck am I this sozzled and it's only 21:53

I posted that on here years ago you bugger.

Saw/Wallace &Gromit mashup.

FYP.

See No Evil. Loved it. Cheesey, cliched and a completely unpredictable 'twist' at the end, but class.

Does he have the lady friend you fancy or am I making things up in my head? Yes I believe you are making things up. I reckon she's a closet lesbian meself.

Going out for a curry at Miah's. Shouldn't really as I had a chinese/thai last night. Straight to my thighs.

There's a reason the jokes should be left to Berb tbh.

1. I'm eating prawn cocktail Wotsits 2. Going out for a meal with me pa tonight 3. I still have nothing concrete planned for me birthday 4. I haven't caught me lass' cold 5. Doing practice a German paper

Didn't he deny he was interested in Brown a few days ago... Less talky, more signy you babbling incompetent tosser.

Lucas wants a new challenge so sold him to Roma for £27.5million (would like to know how Mascherano went for 69 million when Lucas is better ) so in comes Ronaldo...for £75million. Bought in a load of promising portuguese, spanish and italian youngsters, all being loaned out. Might bring in Nuri Sahin as a Lucas replacement but that's another £33million...

End of season. Won the league, FA & League Cup and rounded it all off with the Champions League. Foti finishes top scorer of the prem with 31 (46 goals this season), Eddie Johnson gets european golden boot with 12. Now have a cool £60million to play with in the transfer market. Edit~ Just been increased to £80million!

Always thought he was a wanker. Well I thought it was funny.