Matt

The nights after NYE are the best time as most people are still hungover/skint/both. The result being little queueing and decent offers.

I had a few weeks in the summer where I couldn't sleep any earlier than 5am. Then it stopped. My preferred method would be to listen to shite on local radio. Your subconscious eventually concedes defeat when faced with an early-morning phone-in.

Works out over a lifetime.

Take a floorboard to your arse? I'll bet you would an all. The paddle just ain't enough these days. T-Keith- 95% isn't that hot. Are you saying 5% of your entire piss output settles outside the bowl area altogether?

I'd have had the butler do it.

So while Gem is appalled at the thought of a momentary wonky aim, he is more than happy to shit on a shelf.

Well, some us don't get the opportunities to sleep at work that others do.

That's sick, tbh. Ultimately Scott you must just be a supreme being who never has to make quick adjustments while half asleep. Though it could be that you're a closet sitty-downer.

It wasn't rancid, it just needed a bit of surface work. In my defence, we're not the only lot to have lived here and the carpet we took up was ancient. It's not that you don't piss everywhere, it's your insistence that you never ever veer off course. Unless you never sleep or get pissed.

I've only had proper flu once and it was pretty awful. Still waiting for this year's 48-hour illness. My way of combating it is to load up on Lemsip until i cant feel my hands any more. If I still can, the kettle goes back on. Even if I stay ill, at least I won't feel it.

I've had a yahoo mail account for ages now, probably 6 or 7 years. Having not logged on for a week, I had 248 emails, all bar 7 were spam.

Just how many local multi-millionaires are they? (bearing in mind they are looking at £80m+).

What's your budget? A quality piano sound will require a waveform engine (so you are actually playing the same sound as a piano which has been recorded to high quality and reproduced) rather than a synthesis engine. On the other hand, electro sounds will be limited if you have waveform but no synthesis facility whereby you can load patches and tweak various parameters until you acheive the exact sound you are looking for. The Korg OASYS will do both to a supreme level, but it's £6,000! So it's really going to depend on what you have to spend.

See if you can get away with turning the SSID broadcast off. It used to work fine for now but some devices refuse to reconnect without it.

Currently designing and building automation systems for airfield lighting control systems and other odds and ends. Fled my previous job as a trainee accountant in order to save my sanity. A similar course of action is not that far off again. Hoptastic.

Bricks are surely the only way? Forget your job worries, your biggest challenge is facing broad south-west accents and keeping a straight face. Every day is talk like a pirate day!

Not going to happen though, at least not as long as so many parents are allowed to bring up their children so shabbily- and it only takes a handful of wayward kids to drag a whole bunch down to their level. While in principle I would agree that faith an the state should not mix and admire a lot of countries who have acheived this situation- I don't think it would be the right time now to do away with them. A lot of faith schools still operate in an 'old-fashioned' manner (though not much) and gives a good indication of how successful or otherwise recent changes to the education system are. Mind you, as long as the government proceeds with their 'one for all' approach to education we're screwed in the long-term regardless.

I went to a Catholic school and bar the assembly there's not a great deal of difference in what you actually do. At least where I was the curricula were the same as any other school (no creationism thanks- in fact it's now a specialst science school, whatever good that means). Realistically these schools have survived not so much because of the faith element but because they have traditionally fared better than the average mainline comp, even those (like mine) which had no selection policies based on ability. It wasn't becuase God helped everyone out (though some might like to think so). The reality was the place (back then) was still pretty strict and had streamed classes from Day 1. This 'edge' is being eroded and will continue to do so. Nearer home, the local Catholic high has such a bad rep that kids are leaving in droves from the Middle schools to go to Crammy High. I guess it depends where you are. I guess you can't ban faith schools without banning private education too and there's not a massive amount wrong with the way things work now. IIRC the way it works is that capital maintenance is covered by the appropriate religious body or by charitable trust while the day to day expenses that would be incurred regardless of where the kids go to school comes through general taxation via the LEA.

Guess it's better than the Bannatyne Casino approach, with a note on the door on Monday morning saying it had been sold off for offices.

Every speed camera installation should be based on safety reasoning (after all that's what they're for, isn't it?). I've seen cameras on long stretches on quiet roads, resulting in people trying to overtake slow-moving vehicles on corners. Safe? Nope. What about the 'surprise' copper with his van parked behind a bush? Could result in late braking and more likely to cause an accident than prevent one. Utterly retarded. What is effective is the sort of approach on Gosforth High Street. Big speed detector that flashes up if you're going too fast, couple of hundred yards later a camera. If you get done on that one at 50 you deserve the points.

Ordered it- look forward to it's arrival.

But only if you've got plenty of free HD space and RAM- obviously not a problem for Lazarus and the like. You can get a dubious copy of Audition from Mininova- dead easy wave editor, though if you can get Cool Edit Pro 2 this is probably better. It will do the same thing (it's effectively the same program) but CEP2 is less fiddly and user-friendly.

Will be there at some stage, depending on the crap sunday bus service.

Is SSR Online? I foresee a million and one animated gifs on their way.

Correct, on the Newsnight preview last night there was a whole section about buying Charleloi even though agencies are not allowed to- via Peter Harrison.