Wavey Davey

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson wants to sign David Villa and either Dimitar Berbatov or Thierry Henry before the start of the season. (Manchester Evening News, 1029 BST) Sunderland manager Roy Keane has made a tentative approach for Benfica's Portugal international forward Ariza Makukula. (The Northern Echo, 1025 BST) Barcelona look set to block a move by Manchester United for Thierry Henry by playing the former Arsenal striker in the Champions League on Wednesday. (Daily Star) Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson wants to land Spain's Euro 2008 star David Silva from Valencia. (Daily Mirror) But Spanish forward Silva has delivered a huge snub to Liverpool and United by insisting he will not move to the Premier League. (Daily Star) Manchester United are determined to complete the signing of Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov before the start of the season but relations between the two clubs remain frosty. (The Times) Spurs have dismissed talk of Manchester United moving for Thierry Henry and expect them to renew their interest in Berbatov. (The Independent) Chelsea will step up their bid to land Real Madrid striker Robinho by upping their offer to £25m. (Daily Mirror) Chelsea's Joe Cole is demanding assurances over his future after Liverpool declared an interest in buying the midfielder. (Daily Mail) The Blues are preparing to cut their losses by selling defender Branislav Ivanovic to AC Milan. (The Times) Roque Santa Cruz is set for crunch talks at Blackburn in an attempt to resolve his future as the striker wants to leave for Manchester City. (Daily Mirror) Liverpool will discover in the next 24 hours whether their move for Aston Villa midfielder Gareth Barry has been scuppered. (Various) Reds boss Rafa Benitez wants showdown talks with Liverpool's American owners in the hope of resurrecting the Barry deal. (Daily Mirror) Newcastle are closing in on a deal for Blackburn defender Stephen Warnock. (Daily Mail) Magpies striker Shola Ameobi has begged Newcastle not to price him out of a move from the club. (Daily Star) Manchester City midfielder Michael Johnson has rejected a new contract, alerting interested clubs - including Arsenal and Everton. (Daily Mail) Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is poised to swoop for £8m-rated Johnson. (Daily Mirror) Arsenal and Everton have been told by Marseille that they need to pay £20m for midfielder Lorik Cana. (The Times) West Ham, Bolton and Newcastle are battling to secure the signature of ex-Spain international Diego Tristan. (The Sun) Sunderland have launched a fresh bid for Leighton Baines from Everton for £6m. (Various) Middlesbrough want an answer from Arsenal on their £3m bid for defender Justin Hoyte. (Daily Star) Portsmouth are set to beat West Ham and Tottenham to sign Ghana skipper Stephen Appiah from Fenerbahce. (The Sun) Spurs are furious after Vedran Corluka's £5m move was called off at the last minute by Manchester City. (Daily Express) Wigan boss Steve Bruce is set to snap up Ecuador midfielder Segundo Castillo. (Daily Mirror) Hull's proposed move for Claudio Pizarro has stalled over the player's wages. (Daily Telegraph) The Tigers have asked Roman Abramovich to help fund the deal for the striker, who earns £3m a year. (Daily Star) Birmingham winger Seb Larsson wants to join a Premier League side but Blues are refusing to let him leave. (Daily Mail) Bayer Leverkusen have denied they are interested in Rangers forward Kris Boyd. (Daily Record) Aberdeen manager Jimmy Calderwood has failed to persuade the Birmingham City winger, Sone Aluko, to return to Pittodrie for a second loan period. (The Herald) Falkirk are considering a loan move for Crystal Palace's goalkeeper Scott Flinders after the out-of-favour 22-year-old trained with the Bairns on Monday . (Scottish Daily Express) Motherwell have made a £50,000 offer for Livingston full-back Dave Mackay. (Scottish Daily Express) Tottenham striker Darren Bent could be a surprise inclusion in Fabio Capello's England squad to face the Czech Republic on 20 August. (Various) The Premier League will open an inquiry on Wednesday into Tottenham's claims Manchester United tried to unsettle Dimitar Berbatov. (Daily Mail) The Premier League is facing an unprecedented trial of its fit and proper persons test after arrest warrants were issued for Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra. (The Guardian) Premier League bosses want urgent talks with Thaksin. (Daily Star) Manager Mark Hughes is set to quit as the Manchester City crisis threatens to spiral out of control. (The Sun) Celtic's Darren O'Dea, Aiden McGeady and Scott Brown were abused by drunken thugs after the club's Scottish Premier League game at the weekend. (Daily Record)

from skysports.com: Paper talk - One from France this time and L'Equipe claim Newcastle United are continuing talks to sign Toulouse full-back Herita Ilunga, although Celtic are also showing an interest. ???

Nice one! Me and the missus are in the process of adopting, so we're gonna know how you feel real soon. Congrats again!

Pic? Bet he's never seen her. I'm her no.1 source. You've been doing a bang-up job, then. You heard me

Pic? Bet he's never seen her. I'm her no.1 source. You've been doing a bang-up job, then.

Aye and useful with a light sabre if Star Wars is to be believed. Not that useful if Iain McDiarmid can blast him with force lightning and chuck him out of the senate win.... I've said too much.

Nope.

You know this how?

Think the thing with the shirt was MA saying "'s alright. He's coming." Can't think what's taking so long, though.

Pic? Guardian online fella. Turned on. Tuned in. Got nowt.

Pic?

Woah woah! I agree they'd beat us but let's not go mad, eh?

Better chance than any other in the season. Still probably lose, though.

Too true Captain Carrot*, too true. *Carrot I see what you did there.

Has he gone yet? Hearing nowt about this, me. Same with bleedin' Colo.

It could be anything from the prosaic asking to buy them a drink to the bizarre dressing up as Enrique Iglesias for them or sending them a photo of your cock. Took this long to get that response.

Oh, fer fuckssake!

I liked that strip. Seconded

...and who still owns them? Mate of mine bought every single one that came out. I always thought they were a waste of space.

No, tapping up is making direct contact with a player (through various channels) without going through the correct procedures. The right way to do it is for the club interested to speak directly to the club who has the player. The club with the player would then decide whether or not they would allow said player to talk to the interested party. Oho! Shoulda known that. Cheers marra!

...Goes on in a 'tapping up' scenario. I've heard it banded around and assumed it had something to do with unsettling the player through the media. If I'm wrong or there's more to it then that: What is it?

Like tackling back? Winning headers? I think the scouse maybe in for a shock. He is rated over and above his ability. Trust me, I have had to watch him for 6 seasons. With proper coaching and really good players around him and vocal passionate fans behind him that will change. Spurs was only a stepping stone to better things ... Now he's in the big time. Oh aye because Inter were in the fucking Ryman at the time, weren't they?

Aw, no. Brilliant man.

Coming soon, loudly in a back of a bus near you.

Going to have to when fatman viduka crips himself Owen cba and injures himself again on his brief recall to an england squad Smith goes to everton (blind hope) Ameobi dies after Barton Assaults him Barton goes to jail but the fans like him a bit more for it this time Sing along if you know it: "Iiiii'm H-A-P-P-Y, H-A-P-P-Y.........."