The Fish

No idea how I'm going to keep sane working from home. I'm a creature of habit and sitting at the table, trying to work on a laptop instead of being in the office is weird. Especially as the wife has a 1,000 piece Winnie the Pooh jigsaw just begging to be finished...

And if you could get some fat pig-fucking moron to call me boring, state that 87% of people from Blyth are ugly and brag how he's going to have 19 pints the minute he's off the intravenus drip...that'd be nostalgia-tastic.

Did I not mention I've got a wife and kid... sounds like somethingI would have brought up ad infinitum. Finally told to work from home, and because the office is shut down, no fucker can get on. So I'm on hold with IT and waiting for a call from my boss demanding to know why I'm not showing as available. So, have a missed anything? Guessing t00nraider is still pretending to be a Newcastle fan, J69 is still killing joy with gay abandon and essembee is still remembering that important date?

Liverpool? Absolutely fucking not sunshine.

Born with two silver plums in his mouth.

First time I've been actually excited about a match day in ages, inexplicably. Shit match. 2-0 win. 1 O.G. and a penalty. ASM gets injured. Bentaleb to get a red.

Sure, you can avoid the obvious if you want, but it just makes you look at best ornery, at worst stupid.

Not the same chart, but to give a comparison 18/19 vs 19/20 so far

He might be limited, but his effort and PASHUN more than makes up for it.

We should be rock bottom on 15pts, were it not for huge slices of luck up front and at the back.

No idea. Probably has a lot to do with having shit players and a shit manager? They're properly fucked now. It's more than likely they're not getting promoted, which means a 3rd season in the 3rd tier of English football. They are a League One club now. Not just a "big club" passing through. Gone are the parachute payments, gone are the players who could return big money, gone is the interest from investors (£10m loan is a joke).

I'm thoroughly enjoying their troubles. I don't want any club to go bust, but a spell in League 2, or the Vanarama Conference would be fucking hilarious. The way they're twisting themselves in knots about our season is fascinating. They're attempting to get the ideas that the team is shit but under performing, the new manager was shit but is the reason for our lofty position, the old manager is chequebook manager despite getting fuck all backing, the owner is mint, all to work together with the results being better than expected. If I was a mackem I'd be having a got at the dwindling attendances, the piss poor performances of the strikers, bemoaning Newcastle's luck and leaving it at that. Nice, safe and easy to argue.

No worries, I'm saving that for the follow up when someone disagrees with me. That's where I have a got at scousers, the irish, homosexuals and call them ugly, boring and unfunny.

80% of people from Fenham are boring ugly cunts and even they'll tell you he's the Geordiest Geordie that ever Geordied. (just in case you were missing him)

Jack Ryan is decent.

No, he's pining for the Fjords

There's some great things on Netflix. You have Amazon Prime too?

I'd echo Monkey Fist, plus the walk from Panis to St James' should get her excited for the match as there'll be a sea of people heading that way.

12th in League 1. Is this another weekend where they end up in their club's lowest ever position?

Gutting, Harbor View chippy closes at 9pm on a Friday.

Empty your inbox man

You sure they weren't Cocktopus?

Was it because of the Jews?

Ring fencing the NHS, Rolling back austerity, enforcing corporation tax laws, changing sentencing for hate crimes. None are extreme left propositions, or particularly exciting now, but wait a few years.

So, don't make them bland. Also, those 18yr olds will be 23. Hopefully with jobs, and responsibilities. They might be more amenable to less radical proposals. And to be honest, in 5 yrs time what we consider middle of the road, may seem radical.