David Kelly

For £50m to be enough we'd have to bring in 5 £10m players who all turn out to be top class because as a minimum we need a new centre half, a new right winger, two central midfielders and striker. I don't have a fucking clue who though and when you see the likes of Chopra go for £5m and Darren Bent go for £16 it shows you just how difficult the job would be.

I'm not blaming the players next to him or saying he should be in the team but playing alongside shite didn't do Bramble any favours in terms of developing as a player and I don't think it's doing him any either. That said I think we need two new centrback's in the summer.

We have to ditch those two in the centre of midfield. Niether of them can pass a ball to save their lives. Butt starrted the season quite well but now he's back to the standard he was in his first season here. Barton was a better player when he was injured. It's possible he may still be because he can't do a single thing right. Baring in mind that Emre can't stay fit for more than two games I would go with Geremi and N'Zogbia in the centre of the park. N'Zogbia is about our only hope of creating anything and Geremi's legs may have gone but at least he can pass a ball. Can't for the life of me understand why Enrique's not getting a game and I hope Viduka get's fit soon because only him and Owen look like any sort of goal threat at all. The Blackburn game is an absolute must win now. We can't go into the Birmingham away game on the back of no wins in 12 because our confidence is that fucking low to begin with if it keeps dropping we will end up losing to the likes of Fulham & the makems and then we will be propper fucked.

Hasn't improved at all since he got into the team. We haven't helped him by constantly changing our back four or playing him with some god awfull sihte but the reality is he can't mark at all and ends up spending more time behind Given than actually defending. I would be seriously considering giving Edgar a run the way things are going.

When Abramovic took over Chelsea. I know this may sound stupid but I really think it knocked the stuffing out of us. Before that we really were within touching distance of the top two and looking to pull away from Liverpool. When he took over suddenly there was a team out of no where who could sign pretty much any player in the world and we were knocked down another peg. For me this led to a big hangover the next season which Robson (in particular) couldn't seem to get over and led to the fat prick replacing him with that clown Souness which completely destroyed the team Robson had built.

Amorres Perros. Not bad at all although I wasn't too keen on the middle section.

Nico - The Marble Index

What was that Hungarian kid like? He's been getting some very promising write ups so far especially if you consider he's just arrived from a different country and he's straight in against senior players.

Given has been poor this season by his standars. He's definitely still one of the best keepers in the league but there are probably quite a few who are in better form than him. We have conceeded quite a few long range efforts that came from shots that weren't really anything special and I think he was a fault for Boro's goal the other week. I'd be quite happy to play Harper on Saturday and if he plays well then I would keep him. At the start of the season I said the opposite as I do believe Given is a better player and I would nearly always want to play our best player in a position. But form is more important and Given just doesn't have any at the moment for whatever reason.

No Age - Wierdo Rippers

If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all, don't try and claim he's a fucking star and try and convince your manager he should be anywhere else but at home on a match day

Duff proves his lack of brains. Duff believes the experience of full-back Stephen Carr could be vital as the Magpies battle to stay out of the drop zone. He added: "Stephen has been great. He only has until the summer until his contract expires, but as a friend and a player I'd love him to stay. "I know he's had his injury problems at Newcastle, like I have, but he is a great person to have around and most of the players would agree with that. He has the experience we need at the moment."

Shsh, the fifth best ex chairman in the league will be on here in a minute for you!

3-4 days I think That'll be me ok then. Had nowt this year.

First half they were so bad he had fuck all to do so couldn't cock it up. Second half he cost us the first goal (and in doing so caused the collapse imo) and I don't see how anyone can defend him remotely for the penalty. He's not a bottom six player let alone a top six. He was finished with that bad injury he suffered playing for Spurs.

Coke leaves the system quickly does it not?

The Beatles - A Day In The Life

Cloverfield. Watching someones home video of a party (which is what the first fifteen minutes or so equates to) is pretty dull but once you get past that it's a really good watch (though not as good as some of the over the top reviews I've seen). The way they only showed glimpses of the monster and never made any attempt to explain what it was or where it came from is a masterstroke. It could have easily turned out to be another mess like Godzilla but I think what they set out to do (which for me seemed to be as much about the fact that every major world event from now on will be captured on film because of our increasing use of techology) really worked. I don't know whether I'd really want to watch it over and over again but it's defintely worth seeing. Ratatouille. Good but not in the same league as either of the Toy Stories, Shrek or Monsters Inc and for kids I would think it would be well back on Finding Nemo too. The animation was top notch like. Point Blank. Lee Marvin did a much better job of being hard and mean as fuck than Mel Gibson did in Payback and Angie Dickinsons tits were a nice distraction too. Didn't like some of the 60's editing though which seemed to be trying to be a bit too trippy for its own good.

It makes no sense at all if you think about. Ashley's actions (sitting with the fans, wearing a toon shirt, bringing in Keegan) all seemed to be geared around having a good time with the club. Now to me the best way to do that is to give the manager a load of money to bring in some top class players and see us have a real go at challenging for something. Selling up now before he's had a chance to back his man and hopefully enjoy the results of that seems completely at odds with everything he's done.

Class film that, the best western I've seen in years.

There's not a great deal of them about who you would expect to add much though is there, and our last couple of players from that region (Tomassen and Andersson weren't exactly massively successful were they). With regards to French players I'm not sure that I would be so keen to avoid them. Cantona, Ginola, Henry, Pires, Petit, Viera, Anelka, Robert, Distan, Evra, Silvestre, Saha, Makelle and more have all made big impacts in this country so I don't think there is much of a problem. Admittedly there are others (Boumsong being the obvious one) who have struggled badly and even some of the ones who have done well have had their strops but to stay away from them just because of this seems wrong to me. I would have thought you must have at least a 50:50 chance of a French player coming over and doing well as long as you go for the right one (it's more a scouting issue for me). The French probably have been the biggest success in terms of overseas players in the Premiership whereas Spanish, Itallians, South Americans and Germans have made very little impact (with a few ecceptions aside).

Top player for us he was, back when we didn't have a bunch of soft shites playing for us (tbf we didn't have a lot of skill either like baring Pedro & Gazza). Hope it turns out ok for him.

I'll give it another go on a night when I'm not nodding off by nine (in other words whenever I can get the bairn to sleep a full night).

Certainly was.

Still can't past the first twenty minutes of that. Sweeney Todd. I'm not a massive musical fan and the ones I do like usually have more dialogue than this but I quite enjoyed it. Depp is excellent as ever and his cockney accent has improved since From Hell (it's still pretty poor though) but Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter steal a portion of the film off him. As always with Tim Burton films it looks gorgeous and the violence is pretty grusome (definitely deserving of the 18 rating). Overall not bad but not one of my favourite Depp or Burton films.