Monkeys Fist

Don't be. It's fucking dire. And I say that as someone who could watch Ruth Wilson peel spuds and still get trouser commotion.

Good to see the youth upholding tradition.

Bloody imigriants, coming over here, marrying our wimmins.

A bad day at the orifice.

"I will build a great wall and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our eastern border, and I will make Hoverboard riding vegetablists pay for that wall. Mark my words."

A belly like the gentle, lapping waves of the Aegean.

Is that an actual pic of the Knight Ryder in full kit, or have you shopped his head on to Neville Southall?

If he moves to California he'll have no choice but to drink water out of thimbles

I chased 4 tigers around a tree until they turned to butter, then ate 500 pancakes.

"Hey Sweetcheeks, you Interest Only or Endowment?"

Seamen.

He's been mullion it over for a while.

This is the post of a broken man. He's in pane.

Gemmill needs to moisturise his arse leather. Post of the week.

We need our resident soft furnishings expert to clarify whether or not this is, in fact, an armchair. It doesn't appear to have a curved back, so I'm pitching tent in Renton "The Fenestrator"'s camp.

Blobby prepares for battle.....

That's exactly how I picture essembee after another cowardly goalkeeping display.

Rearrange these random words into a sentence, then I'll believe you. Terrible Rock Fucking Kid Is.

Since you're obviously the fat one on the left, I'd say young Gemmill is about to dish you out a paggering.