Monkeys Fist

She's fairly chill at the moment- she loves Christmas, especially if it's snowed and it's lying untouched, deep-pan crisp and even.

Yo momma jokes, this early

In that part of the world, if she wasn't my twin.

All this when "twat" would have sufficed.

We're just trying to help before you go pasta point of no return.

No, that was later

Black lines of tear smudged mascarapone running down her face, watching her life unraviol (sketchy ) before her.

One of the lasses who works in the accounts dept of a property agent I do some work for shares my surname. I asked her one day , " are you from Washington , by any chance?" She was, so I asked what her dad was called? After explaining that we had the same surname, I pulled up the family tree on my phone, found her dad, grandad, great grandad etc all the way back to originator of everyone in Washington with our name. He was born 1804 on the Isle of Man, moved to Whitehaven and married an Irish lass and she gave birth to a football team Some of these moved to Washington to work the pits, then a second wave, several kids of those who stayed in Whitehaven, moved across to Washington too. Me and the lass were both descended from the 2nd lot. When you throw in my paternal grandmother's family, who got to Washington at the turn of the 20thC and bred like rabbits, I reckon there's a good proportion of the town that I'm related to.

True as well. If you type her name into Google images, she's the first hit- miserable as fuck. Add her married name,"Fanny Aiken Roberts", and her half of the swarm show up, well, the ones that made it past their first year. The big bugger on the right is the fanny rat husband. Edit; just looked again and it seems he's jizzed all over his jacket. The man was clearly insatiable Here's the pic of Fanny's Aiken half of the brood

I've warned her before- she'll scare off all her friends and end up cannelloni.

It's when you start looking a the details that you think " Hello..... Dirty buggers!" My great grandad married my great grandmother in October 1908, when he was 19 and she was 17. My grandad was born in January 1909 One of my gx3 grandfathers had 6 kids with his wife, who died giving birth to the last one. Census records show that her youngest sister moved in to look after the kids, sure enough, by the next census, there's 4 more kids . I think the best find so far is a branch of our lot who went off to the States in the 1860s, did the whole wagon trail thing across the continent to Utah ( yep founding fathers of the Mormons) , and settled in a tiny place called Liberty, Bear Lake, Idaho. One of them had two wives, Mormon stylee, 13 kids to the first and 12 to the second. The first wife, who popped out 13 nippers, was called Fanny Aiken I'll bet it feckin was.

Happy Gherkin. Here's a cock and balls

Whatever, they'd still be shit. #essembee

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/nov/15/fifa-uefa-world-cup-germany-football

Krul is definitely in a Death Metal band. Sissoko would guest on a Moloko track.

Cheeky cunt.

I'd love to see all the major international sides refuse to go to Qatar. It won't happen, but it'd be interesting to see FIFA's reaction.

Does anyone give them any credibility anymore?

0:42 " you have no legal grounds to be in here"

Alexander the Great's tomb and remains might have been discovered in Greece, maybe. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30019338 They're not saying it is him, but I'm sensing some pretty strong hints

Dodgy Muricans

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