Monkeys Fist

He might spill his soup

Did it taste like chicken?

Happier Birthday

Too late.

What's in it? I have a bag of red lentils calling " Come and do what you will to me" from the cupboard.

Lumpy piss?

Wtf?

At least he doesn't have dandruff though, eh?

Ditch the cats, then you won't need to Hoover as much.

Also, I'm now suspicious of the failed Artificial Lawn/Dog Turd Patch.

Channel 5 in 6 months- " The Life And Crimes Of The Boldon Impaler". Speaking of which, naaaaaasty. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impalement

The Viking Blood Eagle was a bit nasty. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle

Fuck me " what's an Oz? "

Being stuck in the back of your taxi until you bleed to death through your ears.

Is it a shit version of our 70s away kit?

Really?http://www.toontastic.net/board/topic/28166-whats-for-lunch-thread/?p=1232746

Buy a chicken curry from your local Rinky Dinks. Take the chicken out and keep in the fridge. Neck the sauce. Next morning, catch your burning, watery effluent as it falls out of your arse. Add the chicken to it, and there you go.

He's 5'7" with the shoulders of a flea.

Keep going mate, eventually you'll cease to exist.