Monkeys Fist

Ridiculously excited My toys have just arrived- PS3 500gb superslim, GTA5 and The Last of Us. Ordered yesterday at 3:30pm with Simply Games, arrived this morning. Just loading the fucker now- *reads map , drums fingers.

Great answer to the points he raises.

Salt and Parmesan? Blood pressure old boy!

10 eggs- fried potatoes- Nutella balls. And I had the heart attack. There is no God. None

Single Portion?

Has it got curry in it?

You're practising for Come Bowk With Me, aren't you?

He did- and was told to cook it twice.

Missed that as I was retching at the Indian/Italian fusion. So… you cook it twice. There you are then, you feckin dipshit.

"Basically a bit of food experimenting that ended up on a plate bringing together Indian and Mediterranean." Pasta Gupta?

It's possibly that they are using older swedes, which will be more darkly coloured and richer in flavour.

Cook it as you would at home, but in chicken stock. Then leave it on the shelf for a couple of days until it's a bit darker. Serve just the right side of rank.

Fishermen are kernts- I get all my fish from the chippy

Have you written to John Craven? He kept me up to date with the Cod Wars as they happened.

That chimp is made of bits of Jupiter or something.

I will be tomorrow

It was, until Mrs. JawD washed it.

You'll have to lose the Yorkshire accent first.

Fucking Hippy.

Repeat after me - " Would you like fries with that?"

At what point in the " my flesh is falling off" process do you reckon they think "might need to stop"?