Monkeys Fist

The Great Escape. Cooler King beats Santa.

I was fucking sweating watching that.

Amen

That turkey sounds like beef wellington, but with turkey.

Sorry Clint, much man love and that, but it's true.

Unwanted mental images.

Nah, I've ruined her for other men- Ape Gape

Drunk and incapable.

If only she'd known how fast my nipper valve was oscillating when I told her, I'm sure she would have played it out longer. Wynn all round I'd say.

Oh dear God, what a fucking donkey! Spent the day in bed recovering, told Mrs. F. the full crack , to which she roared with laughter, called me tit and said you don't go to titty bars to look at wallpaper. She was more pissed off that I was out of action all day. Catmag very kindly offered to erase the post and it's traces, but no need. Let it stand as a beacon of idiocy. Although, reading it back, I have to say that after 12 hours on the lash, the spelling and grammar is top notch. And cheers for not tearing me a new one chaps… yet

Top bloke - appointed Frank Zappa "Special Ambassador to the West on Trade, Culture and Tourism". Genius. RIP

Very mixed emotions going on here. Went out for our company piss up tonight. All was well, started in the Telegraph, moved on to the Bridge, we then said " let's head to the Ouseburn, via the Quayside." My choice at this stage would've been to hop in a cab and miss out the Quayside entirely. Over ruled. Cut a long story short we ended up in the titty bar on Dean St. Here's where the problems started. For a good hour or so, I sat and watched my pals hoy money at a steady succession of skinny birds with plastic tits, amused but feeling slightly above it all as none of them did a thing for me. Then , BAM! Out of nowhere this vision of womanly ness ( i.e. curves in all the right places ) parks her arse on my lap and whacks her ample bosoms into my face. Before I know it, I'm in a " private room" with this superbly proportioned woman ,naked and doing things I really shouldn't be even be entertaining. Here's where the turmoil comes in. I cannot lie , I enjoyed every minute of the half hour I was in there with her. But I now feel like an utter bastard, and that I've cheated on my good lady. Trying to justify it to myself by reasoning that the same lass was away doing the very same thing to the next paying punter in line, but it's not working. I know I've done something that , had the tables have been turned, I'd be absolutely gutted about. Am I over reacting, or , as it feels to me, have I fucked up? Right now, I'm not going to say owt to Mrs. Fist, but I feel like a weak willed twat. So, there we are. Fuck knows what I was playing at, but I feel like an utter cunt right now.

Was the voice of Legolas in the animated version of LOTR.

Obvious, but "No, I am your father."

That's sounds even better tbh.

Think I'll be getting that- good shout. Its a fantastic book Monkey. If you PM me your address ill send you it. Small acts of random kindness - cheers Wykiki. Made my day that. My pleasure lad I visited Ypres when I was in Belgium this year, feeeeeck me, emotional man, emotional. A pleasing thump on the doormat , and the book has just arrived. For a grumpy misogynist, you're a top bloke Wykiki Thanks again.

Sounds lush that beef.

Some Chicago kids came up with an excellent way to raise some money… http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/9449070-418/baby-baby-baby-no-pay-up-or-be-forced-to-listen-to-justin-bieber.html

Have good one TR, I'm on my way !

Did you neck the stew while that was cooking?

thought you'd like these, Pie man

Hint; not the dog

Viztastic!

Just PM'd deaders with this

That assumes I'm buying the radge a drink