Monkeys Fist

100 sausage gifs, incoming.

Hi Craig Good to hear you’re still with us, and getting the help you need mate. As has been said, anything we can do to help we’d be happy to. When I was having a wobble a while back I’d read the joke thread- didn’t make me laugh, but showed me that no matter how bad I felt things were, there’s nowt as bad as Gloomys jokes. Don’t be a stranger, but equally, don’t feel any pressure at all to post. 👍

Pigeons are where it’s at lads- I’ve not spoken to any cunt in nearly two years, with the added bonus that every message sent leaves a little shite on their car. * posted from my iPigeon

Hide the pickle

Honestly- fuck all. Quiff signed up an account with the username argamak, then made two or three innocuous posts about watching his ex getting buckled on OnlyFans*. Nowt new.

Right- sorry lads, I know this goes against the grain, but we’ve worked out that the fucking gimp toonraider2 has been posting from a homeless day centre for at least the last three years, possibly more. As much it’s like shooting fish ripping the piss out of him, we suspect he’s also, like many in his situation, having mental health struggles. There’s a fair whack of the Patreon money left over, so we thought it’d be nice to help the lad out with some accommodation. I’ve had a word with Mrs.F. who works for a large mackem housing association that rhymes with Pentoo, and she’s recommended we can put a deposit on one of their single-person flats for him, and surprisingly it’s less than we have in the TT pot. So, I know we usually put this to the vote, but we figured time was of the essence and you’re all decent people who would see the good. Naturally, since all the Patreon lads have contributed, it’s only fair you see what you’ve paid for. Without giving away his address or any other personal info, the cost and an exterior shot can be found by clicking here I’m sure you’ll all join me in wishing the tragically humourless skinflap a Happy Christmas in his new home.

What a gimp.

Wise words from Mr. Tobacco.

Get ‘em quick- they’re selling fast!

They’ve given him the usual warm welcome

Renton throwing the insults.

Good and proper?

Sin Binned until it’s been checked by GCHQ.

Hmm, Kamagra spelt backwards as a username? It’s definitely the usual subtlety

Did they give us 6000 seats in this version?

What is it that they’re fewming about just now? It’s easy to lose track. Is it… 1) League season tickets not being valid for FA Cup games - standard practice 2) Their Club sacking Mowbray 3) Their club giving us 6000 tickets for the Cup game. 4) Their new manager ( who, at this moment, isn’t their new manager). 5) Their club allocating some bar to us for the Cup game- presumably a bar which is located in the areas we have been given, what the fuck else did think would happen? 6) Realising that nobody can supply 10,000 or so six-fingered red nitrile gloves the week before Christmas. Can I also say that I hope Wor Flags have managed to get permission for a banner at the game - regardless of what it is. The unbridled FEWM if our lot unfurl a full stand surfer whilst their lot are busy painting their fucking hands red or whatever will be one of the great sporting moments of 2024.

What’s Gemmill said, anyone? We’ve all got him blocked.

Nowt will happen. This lot couldn’t organise themselves whilst they watched their club go down the toilet over the last seven years. They’ll certainly not be getting organised for one match in a couple of weeks time. Their shite version of Wor Flags have all quit in the huff because the club said “ Not a fucking chance” when they presented their primary school level idea for a banner. That leaves the gibbering masses to actually pull off some coordinated action. When our first goal goes in, they’ll revert to type and be frothing, vein-popping gibbons consumed by hatred, whilst our glorious 6000 will be laughing in their faces, live on TV. The most they’ll manage is a few badly-misspelled bedsheets, which the Mag stewards will take down licketty split. They’re a joke.

Is it wan o’ yon coo-looking hings? Nae horns?

Young Mrs. CT- “ Mam, look what I found at Seaburn bus stop!” Her Mam- “ Don’t feed it after Midnight!” 39 years later… She fed it after midnight

You already have, n’est pas?