Monkeys Fist

She has. Bird on the left looks a bit haggard though.

Wtf is going on with her thumbs?

I’d put good money on Ms. Worsley having a full range of Dragon cock dildos. I’ll check this out later.

Chin rest?

Business description on HMRC. “ Paying Howmanheyman to watch the match- lick iz!”

He needs to be firing out CVs this Twixmas instead of sitting in bars drinking OUR tax dole. Fucking bludger.

Christmas collation MKII done- got about 12 coming tomorrow, for a delayed Boxing Day eat and drink fest. I now have: Beef and Chestnut Mushroom Pastistada* in the slow cooker. 6 Bean Veggie Chilli ( I’m counting green lentils as beans in same way mackems are nearly human- but for a few crucial genes they’re the same)-Arseburner version Homemade guacamole 🤮 A shitload of fresh salsa Various salads A cuddly fucking toy Corned beef and potato pie- the rules. Cheese and Charcuterie boards I’m making spicy potato skins as well when thy all get here. Also, Turkey Dansak for tea tonight** I am now going to minesweep the “opened by mistake when there’s already one open” wine from Baby Cheese’s birthday bash, and have told the kids and Mrs. F. that after tomorrow we’re living on Gregg’s and Rinky-Dinks until Jan 2nd. * slow cooked beef in a tomato base sauce, a bit of cinnamon and fuckloads of garlic. ** Just the single gallon, totally cheated with one of those Spice Tailor kits from Sainsbury- it’ll ding-dang-feckin-do!

He can’t handle the truth.

A canny bag of Tudor.

Howe is bringing in PL’s middle niece for a motivational talk before the game 0-5. All off Miggy’s right peg.

It was lovely tbh, we had vegetarian sprouts, with white wine and garlic, and proper sprouts, as above but 50/50 with pancetta. Did the standard turkey, a beef joint, and a Brie and wild mushrooms pie. The last lot of guests have just buggered off now, which is relatively respectable, but I can not wait for tomorrow when I plan to do the square root of fuck all.

Is that @PaddockLad’s middle niece again?

If figgy pudding is the same as Christmas pud, then aye, away to fuck with it. Sweet mince pies can get in the bin too.

Btw, by the time dinner got served, most of the family, by now young adult types, as well as the owld farts like me, were functionally paggered, so by the time I served up it was carnage- you love to see it

Not had a bad day at all- both Fistlets were well chuffed, and surprised, with their pressies , Mrs. F. the same, despite a distinct lack of Christmas kegs, I did alright. The annual family pig-out was slightly delayed on account of my oven being a fucking teenager and refusing to handle three trays of roasties at once, but we had plenty of diversionary comestibles to stop the the peasants revolting. Speaking of which, I got a shirt which is very similar to Fidel’s regular garb, so I’ve spent the day pretending to be a Central American Dictator- drove Mrs.F. wild, so naturally I ramped up the Castro crack as the day has gone on. The youth got a PS5 so I’ll be diving on that later and I feel it’s only right I play Just Cause 4 or 5 or whatever the fuck is the latest one. Just in case you hadn’t realised- aye- moderately befuddled.

I also woke up on the bathroom floor this morning…. Doctor said don’t mix grape and grain. Get well soon Wykiki, obvs 👍

How can we possibly tell without a comparison pic?

Have you gone on holiday by mistake?

No, but he’s got massive chebs.

If I found this whopper “stealth camping” on my premises, he’d be getting a golden wake-up, just for starters. (How the fuck do you stretch a video of some skank sleeping in a car wash to over an hour? )

I’ve got his OnlyFans, if that helps- absolute filth.