Monkeys Fist

Blonde- £2:99 at Lidl per 750ml bottle. He’ll be comatose on the bamp sofa by halftime

I’ve been likened to a character from Family Guy, tbh. Puzzled tbh as I’m neither black nor in a wheelchair… … giggedy

Been off today, so I’ve made a Garlic Spinach Chicken Bhuna which has been slowly becoming glorious in a low oven for the afternoon, just had a tester and, fuck me, it’s good. Bought the spice mix from a couple of wide-boys at Tynemouth market yesterday, jointed a chicken and added onions, a fucking shedload of garlic, small diced potato, passata, chicken stock, spinach and coriander. Edit; CT, multiply the above by 6, cook for all day, then throw it away and have 10 kebabs instead.

High Press, every second fucking sentence. Does my napper in. They’re attacking, ffs.

There was this poor Über Ginger lad in our class at school who’s voice was breaking for what seemed like three years- every time he spoke it was a squeak. Guess what his nickname was

Bob Mortimer, again.

It’ll be pronounced Rintoulamuckitty. Probably

That’s the one.

Hand written?

IS YOUR SHIFT BUTTON FUCKED AS WELL?

Let’s not forget the episode with Chrissy and Paulie in the woods. Should’ve won a comedy award that year.

Why was your physio staring at your moose knuckle? Pervert.

open his goal scoring account.

Is that Eddie Izzard as Marie Osmond?

Nah, didn’t want to bother the lad with work crack when he’s at home, so I just stared at his lasses Beetle Bonnet and said nowt. I think he appreciated the thought

Delivered goods and comestibles to Matt Targett earlier. Tell you hwhat, Mrs T is straight in the Fist Bank savings account also,

5-0 to us.

The Sopranos is a masterpiece. Paulie Walnuts is the greatest, most erudite character ever written. Anyone who disagrees can bite me.

They can have a quick shit far easier in these.

FTMd YP Marra.