Monkeys Fist

Suck it up, Sugartits, there’s no place for the weak in a kitchen.

Climbing “fashion” was a strange beast in the 1990s. ( I did work as a chef for a few years, any cunt wearing anything other than standard strides was roundly destroyed though - brutal places, working kitchens ).

I bought them from a hippy stall at a French market. They were probably made by a 3yr old in an Indian sweat shop.

For the first time in ages I decided to watch this pish but I kept getting phone calls from this bloke who’d say, ” Hi Marco, I’m the dandy highwayman!” ” Hi Marco, stand and deliver!” ” Hi Marco, ridicule is nothing to be scared of” Six times he rang and each time I told him I wasn’t Marco, but he was adamant. Anyway, thank fuck that’s over, eh?

Newcastle’s latest specialist coach showing off his skills before the pre-season begins.…

That’s just a bowl of cerry away from daint.

I bet you’ve got “your” stool at the pub, by the bar, near where the glass wash is so the staff can’t escape.

If looking at this makes you think of ladies, I’m happy to help - can you still get a boner without the Kamagra these days, or is Little Pinky a softy when sober?

I spent a few days climbing and staying at La Mussara, an abandoned village up in the hills near Tarragona way back when. There’s a mountain refuge/inn/bunkhouse there, but the rest of the town is ruins. Stunning place, right on the cliff edge. I met a right fox there too. Agree about Spanish lasses, too

Apparently Bill Bailey has offered to do it next year I’d probably watch that.

Aye, remember when one of our lot threatened Pardew outside the ground… oh, no, that was one of theirs* with Coleman, outside the SOS, and on film. Remember when one of ours glassed Freddy Shepherd when he was out for a meal with his Mrs?… shit, no, again, one of theirs glassing Murray out for a meal I could go on but we all know the incidents… The only time I recall a manager of ours talking with fans on the steps was Keegan, after selling Cole, and I don’t recall anything other than passion and respect. *the fucking knuckle-dragger who did this is the (now ex) husband of one of Mrs.F’s colleagues. This incident apparently doesn’t even make the top 10 of fuckwitted/terrible things he’s done

He’s like the Andi Osho of internet trolls. But even less funny.

Smackems

🎼Tell me ma, me ma, I’ll be home about 6pm. 🎼

After years as a yo-yo club, I’m pleased they finally seem to have found their level.

No

How was your pizza/cheese on toast the other night?

Both teams have received special permission from the FA to wear face masks during the match, not for the virus, but to try to combat the stench of multiple filthy bastards shitting in their seats.

Aye, the bits without thousands of pissed pink Brits. ( there is though- Picos del Europa in the North West are stunning , even the Costa Brava is beautiful if you follow the above).

Might be a good time to let them know their favourite wizardtramp has changed his “company” logo to Black and White.

It’s in case people have the ‘Rona, one of the symptoms of which is a lack of taste. 😉

Just out of curiosity I looked up his managerial record on the Premier League site. Matches 12 Wins 1 Draws 2 Losses 9 Goals For 9 Goals Against 23 Inspirational.

Strewth!

He’s standing behind her.