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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Aye, this was so obvious, wasn’t it? The fact Bruce stuck around means one of two things, neither of which precludes the other from being true. 1- He’s thick as mince and didn’t realise. 2- He’s a little bitch and took the slight on his character, along with his wages.
  2. What do we think about Jones as our next gaffer? The Cabbage is contracted until 2022, and will he fuck go before then, which means we will likely be relegated. Assuming Jones is still with us, which is far from guaranteed, when the Calorie Sack is finally peddled, he ticks all boxes for Ashley. • Cheap • Cheap • Cheap • Knows the club and all the bullshit that he’ll have to work under. • Half decent coach. • Cheap
  3. Except his daughter, who likes a bit rough apparently. *cough…Darren Bent…cough…Lee Hendrie…cough
  4. Have you lot got nowt better to do? Instead of swanning about on here, flamin' go back to graft. Unless you’re driving home, in which case be careful - it’s th’ rush hour. Ostrich.
  5. I thought that was an eggcellent pun- cracking, in fact. We’re only avian a bit of a laugh.
  6. They’re allowed to travel in and out for work.
  7. Not exactly Derren Brown though, is he? Any NUFC supporter who hasn’t been in a coma for the last ten years knows what’ll happen next year. If you swap the names in his post for anyone from our large roster of shite from past seasons, including the manager, it’s the same old same old.
  8. I see t00nraider2 has been writing to Viz…
  9. Opportunity missed- see me after class.
  10. The fat cunt will be getting vertigo in 12th. He’s managed a top 10 finish twice in his illustrious 20+ years as a manger. Twice. He’s a serial failure
  11. “We’ll never say it’s an achievement to finish 12th for a club of our stature but it’s an achievement.“ Thick as fucking whale spunk.
  12. Used to be called a Fuzz Box before everyone started shaving.
  13. https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/why-swearing-makes-you-feel-better/?utm_campaign=Why+does+swearing+feel+so+good%3F&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=AppleNews “volunteers displayed stronger handgrip strength when they swore during the test.”
  14. I love it when @Howay goes full radge on the mackems- he’s so angrily eloquent.
  15. That’s often the case- the high end hotels are all about the bottom line and will cut corners. Family restaurants and such are far more reliant on reputation, and can’t afford the bad press. Having said that, if the head chef was over ordering/over portioning veg on a Sunday lunch service to the point they were making soup out of it, he should’ve been p-45ed along with you. 😉
  16. That soup tale is fucking bogging mind. I worked in a fair few places- bog standard local “Italian” places, mid-range bistros, hotels, etc and everywhere I worked was totally on the ball when it came to not doing that kind of shit. Apart from being absolutely minging, it’s just not worth risking the minuscule saving you’d make on what is the cheapest lot of ingredients you buy in to potentially be exposed as filthy bastards One place I worked at, the previous “chef” would pre-cook a shitload of long grain rice, then use it in his terrible version of risotto. I told the owner that, apart from being shite, pre-cooked rice was the number one cause of food poisoning, and we’d not be doing that anymore. I took the shite risotto off the menu, put proper risotto, with arborio rice and cooked from scratch, on the specials over the next month, then, after it went down well, we put it back on the menu at a higher price than than the shite that had been on before. After that, the owner pretty much let me do what I wanted- including abusing dodgy pant-wearers and quivering new waiters.
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