Monkeys Fist

Aye. From my house to Cullercoats is 7.5 miles according to Google maps shortest route. We’ve been for a stroll along the beach and fish and chips above the bay once or twice this past year. Not a regular thing, but sometimes you need to reset the old happiness meter.

Percy Pacemaker doesn’t have the same cachet, does it?

It’d be awful if he was out of work and had to sign on. Fucking benefit scrounger…

Also, fuck off.

I had no idea what this was referencing, so looked it up- fucking hell! Pete Doherty got away with ( at the very least) accessory to murder , allegedly of course. The cctv of him stepping round the body then legging it is pretty damning- what a cunt.

Right Wing cunt radio bloke from US.

Nailed on Gemmill is getting a Pug, btw- genetically fucked and barely able to breathe.

I’m also booked for my cripple jab next week

From the lad about to do a Cummings to pick up another furry shit-machine, requiring constant feeding and poop retrieval, in return for it parking it’s hoop on your face to wake you up.

Just filter the fuck out of them then claim they’re shopped if anyone griefs you.

I’ve gone through my Wayne’s World quotes and I admit defeat.

Presumably they’ve got so many burst pipes etc because their homes aren’t built with cold weather in mind? So, no insulation, lagging etc?

W!

I’d settle for my Dad seeing my son in the pub whilst I’m growing up, or something. Anything but this purgatory.

Its not though- it’s a Pie in a Bun. Is this a bus? No, it’s a banana.… unless you live in Wigan where it’s probably called a fucking Long Orange or some shit.

That pie looks like it’s been deep fried. Which would be very Wigan. edit; they’ll also have some weird fucking name for the bun, like a barm or a cob or some shit. Freaks.

I’ve never met anyone from Wigan that wasn’t unhinged.

You reckon? *In the office after we go down. Ashley-“ Right then Penfold, we need a bloke with plenty of experience in the Championship, not too pricey, happy to bend over when told to…” Penfold… ( seriously though, he’s precisely the kind of cunt Ashley would look for to get us back up).

Bill Werbenuik was a fucking beast From his wiki page; ”Some of Werbeniuk's most famous feats of drinking include: 76 cans of lager during a game with John Spencer in Australia in the 1970s;89 pints of lager in a snooker match/drinking contest against Scotsman Eddie Sinclair in which, after Sinclair had passed out following his 42nd pint, Werbeniuk was reported to say "I'm away to the bar now for a proper drink";28 pints of lager and 16 whiskies over the course of 11 frames during a match against Nigel Bond, in January 1990 – after which Werbeniuk then consumed an entire bottle of Scotch to "drown his sorrows" after losing the match.”

Couple of questions; Who did he send them to? WHY?

Phil the Greek- “ Can’t be having these bloody arab royals stealing the headlines Lizzy, eh what?”