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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Fuck off, you ignorant Tory cunt. There.
  2. My old man has been very ill lately, tried everything, even alternative medicine- he spent weeks covering himself in duck fat. It hasn’t worked… he’s gone downhill really fast.
  3. “Take us to Brize Norton, take us straight into the medical facility and let us do our quarantine there by people who can speak our language."
  4. Is that one of the perks of flying 1st class?
  5. I travel by boat but send my staff ahead by plane.
  6. Sounds like you don’t think she enough?
  7. Aye, but he’s also a cunt- there’s a reasonable way to deal with it, which he isn’t doing.
  8. She’ll be General AOC of the World Resistance by then. Rise up brothers, class war is coming.
  9. It’s a classic case of Cunnus Hereditarium, where their cuntish behaviour comes from a belief that they deserve the best of everything because of who they are. Often manifests itself in the wearing of bright red, pink or green chinos and rugger shirts.
  10. Owned by Mike Ashley, sponsored by Chinese online gambling company.
  11. The fact “Clear White Light” by Lindisfarne isn’t and never has been our walk on song should be a source of shame. Proper local band, mint song with a rousing chorus bittybob. ( I also find the thought of 50,000+ pissed up geordies trying to hit the harmonies funny as fuck).
  12. Also “O Fortuna” by Carl Orff. ( Way better than that fucking dirge by PlasticGeordie Knopfler).
  13. Native burial sites blown up for US border wall https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-51449739 What a fucking throbber.
  14. I think we should build a passenger catapult from Wales to Holland, made of cheese, paid for by Mexico.
  15. Where would you put the border controls on that- halfway?
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