Monkeys Fist

How does that go again, Ted?

Look at his twitter handle thingy. “ Totally obsessed theese Mags, Marra!”

Why are you sharing algae with your coworkers? Pervert.

Not only is he dyslexic, he’s also got the raccoon virus.

“She was at a Downing Street reception hosted by Boris Johnson last She was at a Downing Street reception hosted by Boris Johnson last Thursday. “

It’s gone. What was it?

Shit Lip Smith.

He said poetic.

Sainsbury’s has totally run out of dried pasta… all because of a fusilli panic buyers.

If I’m suffering, you all are.

I was going to pick her up in a paper suit and face mask that I have in my dungeon work bag, but the Mrs. put the blockers on. The level of bed-wetting from some of Longbenton’s finest rednecks is top notch entertainment.

Fistette gets back around 4pm today on the Lurgy Bus. I asked her what she wanted for tea and she was straight back with ” Chinese” Definitely mine.

Does that mean I’ve got natural immunity?

His face It’s like the split second between confusion and realisation after someone gives you a poop-tache.

4-0. Beige cunts.

She can have an ice cream, a small one as it’ll be a weekday.

I blame the Jews.

Someone at Mrs.F’s work emailed their top boss today, saying that because our daughter is coming back from Italy, the Mrs. and her work mates should be “quarantined”. The Nipper isn’t even due back until tomorrow afternoon.