Monkeys Fist

How was the rise?

How do I explain to my kid that it’ll be ok to go to school, (with 15-30 classmates depending on which way the wind blows), but he can’t go up the street for a cuddle with his Granny, or see his extended family, or play out with his mates? Utter nonsense.

He’d go well with a nice fried egg.

“ Fucking Gerrin!” And I dropped my Wiener schnitzel at , ” Don’t worry pet, at least your minge got a wash”. Take a bow *posted from my Apple iPhone , subtitles worked fine. I haven’t dropped it off my donkey cart recently though

I was on the very top row of Level 7, right next to the away corner for this season. It was mint- no adverts behind us, the stewards couldn’t be arsed to hike all the way up multiple times per half to tell us to sit down, so we had the entire season on our feet, pissed as rats and loving it 😄 This game was some start to it, too.

You should get on to the union about it.

I’m standing on my step at 8pm tonight to applaud the makers of Fortnite and Minecraft.

Did you not read the first four words of the quote, limp dick?

I hope they keep going, getting worse each year, sending their “loyal fans” in to the darkest recesses of their bitter little existence. Then get even worse.

Both my kids’ schools have made it fairly clear not to expect them to open before summer. I can see conflict between the govt. and teaching unions on its way.

This’ll be interesting to see how this pans out. Coronavirus: Newcastle city centre to allow for social distancing https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-52680247

The problem with online friendships is when they actually meet in real life.

Expert.

What’s wrong with dentists, like?

Not sure you’ll find too many Torygraph subscribers on here mate.

They quite like spreading a few whoppers too. Nadine Dorries told to check 'validity' of social media posts https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52653609

Elvis typing.

Lads. Chill oot!

FYP.

The fact that you even think this to be true says it all about you. Gordon Brown was a lefty loon, was he? Have another Blue Moon and go check on your chickens.

Why did you vote for such right wing cunts then? And Brexit?

Someone’s bottom lip is quivering.

Best centrist non-PM of his life.

And I’m the one talking crap