Monkeys Fist

Aye. I was reading about the Covid inquiry today, lots of testimony from NHS staff, patients and relatives of victims. All very good stuff, but the real inquiry should be in to how many BILLIONS of pounds were backhanded directly in the pockets of Tory donors/cronies/mates. To me, it’s the biggest UK crime so far this century and there doesn’t seem to be any great hurry to prosecute the cunts who perpetrated it.

Aye, needs something to lubricate her throat. l

Just a point of pedantry re. Trump being funny. He’s not funny, he’s laughable. Mainly because he completely lacks a sense of humour. Obama is funny, he has a dry wit. Bush is funny, he plays up his Good Ole Boy persona- they have a sense of humour, and crucially, can laugh at themselves. I honestly can’t think of a single instance where I’ve seen Trump laughing at himself or someone else making a joke.

Phstevied YP

The ones that Geordie Bangers do are like a Boxing Day turd wrapped in pastry… Glorious!

Not soon enough

I knew a Japanese lad that fell in love with a blow-up doll. He just thought she was rubbery.

I knew a lad with no feet. Neil. His brother had no shins Tony.

I made it three paragraphs in before launching my phone- anyone able to make it all the way through Laura’s little tantrum piece here? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx28d72948vo

Reversed in to a lamp post- no serious damage, just a little al dente?

Name that DJ.

Easy. The Smiths.

You need to consult your wolfie doodle.

Too right- he might have dropped his tabs!

I’m on a run up to Elgin and Inverness- currently taking a break just outside Blair Atholl. The night sky up here absolutely immense- so many stars visible without the usual light pollution. ( By the way, when did the Sweaties decide to copy the West English and start putting the local gibberish names on road signs, as well as proper English? ).

How old was she when the kid?????

Oops- wrong shite ex-Newcastle manager. Schteve is Jamaica gaffer

I thought he was the Jamaica coach? Is the fat fuck now stealing two wage packets?

Aye, my condolences mate- it’s rough as hell when you lose someone so close to you, she sounds like a wonderful woman.

Speaking of unintelligible freaks, I’m spending the next 9-10 hours in Wisbech. I almost dropped in on Meenzer but as I went past his gaff I noticed the net curtains were drawn and Gnorman the Gnarden Gnome was turned towards the wall, so I took it as meaning he was WFH* That, and my “passenger” was starting to come round- even with the ball gag and the sack on her head this one’s a proper screamer, so I didn’t want to upset the neighbours- maybe next time Meenz? So, Wisbech… absolute pig fuckers * WFH- either Working From Home or Furiously Hard.… … potayto potahto.

Is he speaking English?

Who’s this cunt?

Went to get a spade and rake out to do the garden earlier- found a homeless Arab lad in there. “ Who the fuck are you?” says I “ Amin Yashed”

I don’t know for sure, but I suspect he’s a six-finger-special by birth, then his standard of living improved vastly when he moved to Newport