Monkeys Fist

Oof!

Late to the “ Let’s all laugh at Germany” party, but let’s keep it civil, chaps, and whatever you do, don’t mention ze VAR!

Praise be. Jesus is risen.

If they go for Turkish, they can keep the kebab skewers and use them to burst their eardrums before the show-

You don’t say…

Why would Spanish-speaking Maradona use Italian to swear at English-speaking Nigerian fans?

Looks like he’s been on a days-long bender

Three bagger. Still would.

“So, there I was, tearing the neck off it, when ‘pop’, the old shoulder came out.…”

You know it’s bad when one team is being panned for being diving, cheating shithouses, and the other team is Spain. Who’ve just scored.

It’s fucking incredible that civilisation ever made it out of the Fertile Crescent, given how fucking delicate these Iranians are.

Chill out man, you screaming fanny. Strictly Come Celebrity Baking Factor is starting soon.

Someone’s getting demoted.

I don’t think you understand the word adrenaline.

Properly debated? “ Is it ok to take surreptitious photos up a lasses skirt?” ” No.” ” Pass the bill”.

Sense and Utter Cuntery are not often bedfellows.

Clearly not a Mackem then.

Closet???

Titty Bars- not even once.… Glad to serve as an example, you pack of cunts. Seriously though, Gloomy, if you’re drinking to the point of memory loss, you might want to rein it in. I used to drink like a thirsty camel in my twenties, could handle it no bother. For a time, though, in my thirties, I had a bit of a dark spell where I was drinking mainly to blot shit out. Thats when the memory loss sessions kick in. Rather than trying to “give up the booze”, work out why you’re caning it. Chances are you probably already have a good idea. Once you’ve worked that out, you can address it, and then get on with having a nice drink as and when you fancy. That, or you’re a raging lush