Bombadil

Oh well.

Why would you be happy about our best striker being out for up to two months? It's shit news. Will Owen ever manage to play more than five or six consecutive matches again?

If I had to choose between Martins and Smith, I'd still put my money on Martins to score. Interesting comparison. Totally irrelevant though. Further commentary: "It was a simple ball, if he just looks up then he can roll the ball into Milner's path, but he plays with his head down." Any commentary from John Anderson is just as irrelevant. He happens to be right, tbf. Martins' boyfriends tend to watch the match in the manner of their hero though - with their head down, blind to his glaring shortcomings. As opposed to Smith's boyfriends, who will forgive him for everything because he gets stuck in. Nah, I've been slightly disappointed with Smith tbh. Still think he's a good squad player though, and I think he'll come good in time. He seems to be able to control a football too, which I always think is a good start. Martins really does lack some of the basics of football, there's no argument there.

If I had to choose between Martins and Smith, I'd still put my money on Martins to score. Interesting comparison. Totally irrelevant though. Further commentary: "It was a simple ball, if he just looks up then he can roll the ball into Milner's path, but he plays with his head down." Any commentary from John Anderson is just as irrelevant. He happens to be right, tbf. Martins' boyfriends tend to watch the match in the manner of their hero though - with their head down, blind to his glaring shortcomings. As opposed to Smith's boyfriends, who will forgive him for everything because he gets stuck in.

If I had to choose between Martins and Smith, I'd still put my money on Martins to score. Interesting comparison. Totally irrelevant though. Further commentary: "It was a simple ball, if he just looks up then he can roll the ball into Milner's path, but he plays with his head down." Any commentary from John Anderson is just as irrelevant.

If I had to choose between Martins and Smith, I'd still put my money on Martins to score.

Have we changed anything at all? We're still under the cosh...

It will be disgraceful if he doesn't get it done now that he had to go off injured again.

Chelsea have confirmed Grant as their new manager.

I think that "surfing James Blunt" is actually a very accurate description of Jack Johnson.

How brilliant would it be to watch Bowyer and Dyer have another fight on the pitch now?

Gemmill is fuming!

Congratulations!

Newcastle manager Sam Allardyce has insisted Michael Owen does not require a hernia operation. The England forward was sent for a scan to determine if he needed surgery to cure a persistent groin problem. The 27-year-old, who has scored five goals in as many games for club and country, was taken off after 56 minutes in Newcastle's loss to Derby on Monday. "Michael does not require a hernia operation and it is inaccurate to suggest otherwise," said Allardyce. "I fully expect him to be fit to face West Ham on Sunday."

Will we ever get more than three consecutive games from him, FFS?

Story of Smith's season/career.

Fucking hell Craig, that is disgusting!

If there's one thing I hate, it's those huge house spiders. The mere sight of one of the bastards is enough to make me scream like the most girlish of girls. I even have to rely on my girlfriend to put them out, FFS.

I just realised that. Very nice! Trust us to drop points though...

RIP, that's tragic.

Hey, it's my birthday, too! Have a good one, Alex.

Owen has scored.

Jesus, you're obsessed!