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Guest Patrokles

Suicide Notes

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Guest Patrokles

How would you start yours? I was thinking and mine would, in all probability, start:

 

'Dear Mum, Sorry I didn't have any nicer paper.'

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"Scooch made me do it"

 

Surely yours would be more along the lines of:

 

"Dear Mam

 

I only done it, so they'd take the jump leads off me testicles"

 

:rolleyes:

 

:)

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"Scooch made me do it"

 

Are you joking? Their new video is the singular best thing that has ever happened in the history of mankind!*

 

Have you been reading Popjustice? Apparently in the Scooch video the Union Jack is shown upside down (I'm not really sure how it's different upside down...) and apparently this can only done in times of distress otherwise it's an act of treason.

 

Scooch have replied to the allegations, "Thank you so much for drawing this to our attention, we do appreciate it and will be making instant reparations to ensure that the broadcast video indicates neither distress or insult to the Crown."

 

Brilliant.

 

*With obvious exceptions.

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Yeah, one of the crap Eurovision news sites picked up on that as well. Unfortunately, in their piece on it, they used a flag which was also wrong, just differently wrong. Oh well.

 

Anyway, I think it only signifies distress at sea, and as Scooch are quite clearly flying through the air (or through someone's home computer, rather), I refuse to accept this as a news story of the same magnitude as, say, "Marija from Serbia to wear a suit on stage".

 

They've recorded their song in various languages, you know. Or rather they've got people from Denmark, Bulgaria etc. to record the innuendo-laden talky bits for them so they don't have to learn the pronunciation. Except for the French version which they've done themselves. Never has the word "aujourd'hui" been mangled in such comprehensive fashion.

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Loving that Scooch song...

 

"...and blow into the mouth piece".

 

Genius! :rolleyes:

 

That'll definitely win the Eurovision. Those strange Eurolanders love sly fellatio references in their songs. :)

 

Did Stephen Hawking do the choreography?

Edited by GeordieMessiah

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How would you start yours? I was thinking and mine would, in all probability, start:

 

'Dear Mum, Sorry I didn't have any nicer paper.'

 

Extremely pleasing to know you're giving this some consideration. Hopefully you've got the rest all planned and the note-writing is the final piece of the jigsaw. In case it isn't already planned, may I suggest setting yourself on fire, I hear it's the most painless way to go...

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