Gemmill 63200 Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 My mam will hear about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 399 Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 What do you call a woman who can play a decent game of snooker with a pint of beer balanced on her head? Beatrix Potter. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 What’s the fastest part of fitting a carpet in Mexico? The underlay. Why was the Mexican popping Xanax? For Hispanic attacks. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14503 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 8 hours ago, aimaad22 said: We respect cultures too, I've got a ton of respect for the Japanese and their idea of honor. Even their pets buy into it. There was this frog a WW2 soldier had that decided to follow him into death. It kermit suicide. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42149 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 11 hours ago, aimaad22 said: We respect cultures too, I've got a ton of respect for the Japanese and their idea of honor. Even their pets buy into it. There was this frog a WW2 soldier had that decided to follow him into death. It kermit suicide. Went by the name of Kermit Seppuku 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainman 165 Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 On 09/09/2011 at 23:12, Monkeys Fist said: Todays date always reminds me of this German lass I went out with. Hated anal. and all that time you thought she was marking you out of ten..? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28542 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 Just now, wykikitoon said: Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16199 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 3 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 6 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered. His widow would've hopefully got a good compensation payout for that as well as a decent death in service payment so at least his family can afford to pay the bills after this tragic accident. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 13479 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 43 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 3 hours ago, wykikitoon said: Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 399 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 I used to work at Nestle (Rowntrees back then). One of the silly jokes from the factory.. An employee tried to commit suicide by jumping into a vat of chocolate. His workmates gathered round and started singing.. 'Billy don't be an Aero'. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 44 minutes ago, Wardi said: I used to work at Nestle (Rowntrees back then). One of the silly jokes from the factory.. An employee tried to commit suicide by jumping into a vat of chocolate. His workmates gathered round and started singing.. 'Billy don't be an Aero'. You’re barred! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 I'm sure I've mentioned before about the poor cunt who fell into a 100 hectolitre bright beer tank at S&N and sadly drowned. It was a long, slow death as the lad in question managed to climb out five times for a piss first before finally succumbing at the end. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14503 Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 7 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: You’re barred! 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: You of all people! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 There once was a young lad called Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave. He thought what the hell I’ll get used to the smell And think of the money I’ll save 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 26353 Posted September 29 Author Share Posted September 29 I went into my local book shop and asked for a book on turtles. The assistant said: “hardback”? I said: “yeah, with little heads” 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14503 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 26 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: I went into my local book shop and asked for a book on turtles. The assistant said: “hardback”? I said: “yeah, with little heads” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 13479 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: I went into my local book shop and asked for a book on turtles. The assistant said: “hardback”? I said: “yeah, with little heads” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16199 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: I went into my local book shop and asked for a book on turtles. The assistant said: “hardback”? I said: “yeah, with little heads” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: I went into my local book shop and asked for a book on turtles. The assistant said: “hardback”? I said: “yeah, with little heads” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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