Christmas Tree 6688 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 63002 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Get her a Bonehead signature epiphone guitar. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 26311 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Just now, Christmas Tree said: A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… the wife and i stopped buying each other presents a few years ago for similar reasons. instead we agreed to only buy each other "experiences"- could be a reservation at a posh restaurant, tickets for a gig or standup, spa hotel break etc. can be a bit more expensive than clothes or whatever, but forces you into spending some time together away from the kids and is something to look forward to 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 12329 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 (edited) Experience day at a spa or something? Also don't hint, just push ahead. If the cold wind sweeps in just remind her she asked for a 'non-specific surprise' Edited November 3 by Craig 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 5183 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Mine loves a spa day and night at a posh hotel Pay for a treatment and you get a couple of hours to yourself aswell 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6688 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 36 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: the wife and i stopped buying each other presents a few years ago for similar reasons. instead we agreed to only buy each other "experiences"- could be a reservation at a posh restaurant, tickets for a gig or standup, spa hotel break etc. can be a bit more expensive than clothes or whatever, but forces you into spending some time together away from the kids and is something to look forward to 38 years of marriage mate. The only experience I want is the house to myself while she’s out with friends or daughter Actually that’s given me a great idea 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 12329 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 8 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said: Actually that’s given me a great idea Wrapping up the keys to your wheelie bin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43836 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 11 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said: 38 years of marriage mate. The only experience I want is the house to myself while she’s out with friends or daughter Actually that’s given me a great idea 65" screen TV fun time, CT? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 26311 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 28 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said: 38 years of marriage mate. The only experience I want is the house to myself while she’s out with friends or daughter 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Whitehurst 1286 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said: A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… Get her some of that nice terrace icons gear in your size. Remind her that she likes surprises when her face starts tripping her. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28485 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 2 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… Surprise her with fuck all Mine is easy to buy for. Gift vouchers for whatever shop she asks for 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28485 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: the wife and i stopped buying each other presents a few years ago for similar reasons. instead we agreed to only buy each other "experiences"- could be a reservation at a posh restaurant, tickets for a gig or standup, spa hotel break etc. can be a bit more expensive than clothes or whatever, but forces you into spending some time together away from the kids and is something to look forward to I have just finished this book; Die with nothing That talks a lot about experiences. Thankfully we have always done that. Rather than spend a lot on presents we rather go away to the Lakes, or out for food etc. Growing up my parents didn't have a lot of money and I have always felt embarrassed when receiving presents especially when someone has spent a lot of money. So early on in our relationship I made this clear that I don't have any issue giving presents but receiving its not my things. For my Bday / Christmas I get some socks and I am happy with that and then I go to one of my fave restaurants. That's me chuffed. *Go on rattle out the tight Yorkshireman Jokes 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 63002 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Just the image of you opening up a single pair of socks for Christmas. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43836 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 2 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… "Get her a vibrator and a box of Thorntons. If she doesn't like the chocolate she can go fuck herself." 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28485 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 7 minutes ago, Gemmill said: Just the image of you opening up a single pair of socks for Christmas. I mean its several pairs. I seem to go through socks quite quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6688 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 33 minutes ago, Gemmill said: Just the image of you opening up a single pair of socks for Christmas. And looking surprised 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6688 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Anyway, think I’ve ended up with Miss Rory’s Xmas show at Boulevard. Just got to convince one of the daughters to go with her. They’ve been before but would really rather have teeth pulled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16114 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 (edited) 3 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… Since she loves surprises stick one of these on: Jump out on her and if she doesn’t appreciate the surprise fucking knife her. Follow me for more hints and tips on how to save your marriage. Edited November 3 by Dazzler 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 4 hours ago, wykikitoon said: I mean its several pairs. I seem to go through socks quite quickly. Aye, they’re meant to go on your feet though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14489 Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 10 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: A preemptive post. The wife’s birthday on Wednesday and as fucking usual I have no idea what to buy her At her age and after 38 years of marriage she is just too hard to buy for. Still stocked up on perfume and prefers artificial flowers - which she already has. She can get away with buying me a jumper or trousers, but buying her clothes has always proved a big mistake. Every 5 or 10 years I pull an excellent out of the bag, but mostly it’s a fucking thankless task. ”I just love surprises”, she’ll say, but whenever I hint at what sort of surprise I have in mind, a cold wind sweeps in from the North. So, the doghouse awaits… At least you have planned well in adv ... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 26311 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 Had an erm interesting 48 hours. I’ve been plagued with lower back problems due to a suspected herniated disc for decades but had a flare up this weekend which was next level. A session of physio yesterday put my back in constant agonising involuntary contractions and left me screaming like a baby, freaking out the wife and kids. leaving hospital now with a prescription of Valium, codeine and anal suppositories. Next steps are an MRI scan to get to the bottom of it and assess whether I need any intervention such as a steroid injection or surgery. How’s your Sunday going? 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43836 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 5 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: Had an erm interesting 48 hours. I’ve been plagued with lower back problems due to a suspected herniated disc for decades but had a flare up this weekend which was next level. A session of physio yesterday put my back in constant agonising involuntary contractions and left me screaming like a baby, freaking out the wife and kids. leaving hospital now with a prescription of Valium, codeine and anal suppositories. Next steps are an MRI scan to get to the bottom of it and assess whether I need any intervention such as a steroid injection or surgery. How’s your Sunday going? Hope they get to the bottom of it quickly enough and you're out of pain soon but you will go hoverboarding. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 63002 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 Oof sounds brutal. Proper back spasm pain is fucking unbearable. Hope you get sorted with a permanent solution soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 12 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: anal suppositories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 26311 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 21 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: quite enjoyable if honest 😂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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