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Here's three I've often been caught strumming to. First off, snooker ref with gaps, Michaela Tabb. Lovely Scottish accent but that face... a tad too masculine? Then there's Siobhan Redmond. Another Scot with amazing red hair. Used to be great in her youth but a bit wrinkly now. She has bared the udders on tv and they are very odd. Finally, Sarah Lancashire. That chin. I can see it dripping with my spiff.

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She's David Duchovny's wife in Kalifornia, which is what I remember her from (and Swimming with Sharks).

Anyway, I heard Michaela Tabb was having an affair with Steve Davis. Apparently on one occasion he said he wanted to do her from behind. She got into position but after nothing happened she turned around and asked what the problem was. Davis replied that he wasn't sure whether to go for the pink or the brown.

Taxi!

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