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I can't help it, when I found out her age I was all shook up

Suspicious minded cunt

I suppose she caught him in a trap

Other than getting abused off hazel nut latte drinking, guardian loving lefties, it was my favourite hobby. About to go up for sale though

i forgot about his metal detector fad

Where’s this?

Yeah, but they didn’t do the sex until she was legal!

You have to add 1000m to account for climbing the sofa/deaddogs/budgies/metector mountain.

But how dare you! 4.12 metres and less if I go to the bottom of the garden.

Heard an Elvis song today on a podcast. I decided to google him as I don't know much of him. He's was a nonce. Met his wife when she was 14!

Think he was the commentator on Premier Manager 99 too? Ah good times

Taxi!

I'm rawdogging it. Just therapy and me.

Peter Brackley

Historical Accuracy’ed YP. Also… Went on google earth, measured shortest straight line from your car outside your gaff to the Tyne - 4.354km Ditto My car outside my gaff- 4.361km. You win by 7 fucking metres. I agree with Dougle, you’re a cunt

Who’s that?

You should pitch this to Netflix