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Future young offender, that one.

What's been going on at The Vermont now?

Shocking haircut.

Fair play to this little scamp.

Whits wrang wi yer girney lookin puss the day ya bam?

CT was well ahead of this one when it comes to hot tubs.

Fuck me, it’s Stock Aitkin and Howmanheyman

His name is part way there Mr Flololo

Alreet Jeffrey Epstein, I thought you were dead.

I only do it when my lass is in with me so I've got someone to vouch for me when I tell my mates that I managed to do it.

Only sometimes?

Sometimes I like to shit in the jacuzzi and then sit with my mouth open and see if I can get the shit to float into my mouth.

I'd tweak the URLs so they point to Mr Trololo but they've not even managed to embed them properly so I shan't bother. Make your own "Warm Tubs" jokes about CT when he's on his summer holidays.

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Can we vote for her in the general election?

On the opening night of debates he labours in dragging one leg behind him, and his arm his hanging at his waist. He gets to the podium, his face is completely melted down one side. He says one thing, and one thing only...."and of course, the genocide", face plants the podium, strokes out on the floor, his wig falls off, has explosive diarrhoea and dies. In front of a global audience. It may not be the end he wanted, but it's the one he deserves.

St Mirren PAH, St fucking Liedown cunts

Aye, unlike his highly versatile vegetable namesake, there’s only layer to him- shite.

He’s a bang average championship player. Ordinary is precisely what he does on a regular basis

Unless he literally drops dead in full view of several right wing camera crews, when he does eventually permanently fuck off, the conspiracy theories are going to be absolutely out of this world. Can’t Fucking Wait.

Not the worst thing one of their "legends" have done to a teenager tbf

That has to be one of my all time favourite non-sweary insults.

The only that could be improved is with a ".....and then he died" at the end.

Met a necrophiliac. He was dead boring.