Howmanheyman

I was ahead of the game, Rob, I called out the bloke who appointed him.

First time in ages I put the six o'clock news on the BBC. First item, a few french police deflating a dinghy in France on a beach in France with asylum seekers in it. Must've been a slow news day globally, I'm guessing absolutely nothing happened anywhere?

Lass at work asked if it really does hurt that much when you get a tattoo so I told her it depends where you get it? She said, Wallsend. Carry on, chaps.

Nah, bin it and the money it generates.

It's from an MLF POV.

"Hello everyone and welcome to the transfer thread. We're expecting heavy gusts today but that's just CT's hondacrackas after McEwan's champion and a pizza duck pizza."

They're a gift, mind. The laughs I've had from them over the years, man.

Ewerk's hotel when the guests clock the MLF and gather around for selfies and autographs.....

Is this the spy thread? "The weather in London is five degrees warmer than Newcastle at this time of the year." "The premier league footballer, like the southern rat, may be spotted moving North but no further than the tip of the southern climate." "I shall get up in one minute, take the briefcase, in it is all the hot Mitch summer temperatures and player targets with the limits each club will not sanction a sale. This concludes the end of your DoF interview. The MLFs will self destruct a month into the new season. Good luck."

Someone put the boom and bust mackem model up.

The willows club was a well to do key club once upon a time, my dad was flapping someone would black ball him because there was always one funny cunt. Changed when we were started getting in. The Scrogg was always a hole tbf.

I never went in there back when, very, very rarely, last time I was in was a couple of years ago for a wake for an old mate's Mam. Still rough but they did still have McEwan's best scotch on draught which was a real throwback and I bought a couple of pints of it.

The now gone Willows on Scrogg road.

I thought he was funny as toothache, personally. (Mike Myers, not TP).

Probably some dodgy Chinese betting company..... Oh, you mean the shirt?

Talking of shit, club I used to get into was always rammed on a Sunday, especially when we were on sky, pre-firestick sports, the main bogs would regularly clog up and be out of order so one Sunday, there's the glass collector, decent enough bloke but not the full shilling, coming out of the bogs up to his arms in, err liquid, says he's just about fixed it. Twenty minutes later he's walking around, same clothes offering roast tatties and roast sausages on platters to everyone. I'd never known so few takers as normally everyone got stuck in. Carry on and Betty when you call me, you can call me Keyth.

Your last sentence.... Seriously, she's spot on still on most stuff but I can see bits creeping in and it's definitely Facebook and what/who she's seeing seeping in a little. (She's also a remainer).

Almost had an argument with the missus when as a by-product of talking about the pip fiasco which obviously could affect us she in a roundabout way put immigration as a problem which should be looked at before the disabled, I mentioned the phillipson comments the other day about falling birth rates and they just needed to reverse Brexit and get rich cunts to start to pay their taxes for a start and her reply was Brexit will never be reversed as they'd be kicked out straight away. I said the polls are overwhelmingly anti-brexit but she disagrees when it comes down to it, but the absolute zinger was me saying, in relation to the falling birth rate, that young people aren't having kids because of the state of the cost of living/shit deal they have etc and she reposted a lot of it was to do with being taken over in our country!!! I couldn't believe what my corbynista wife was saying? I got up to make the dinner as it was starting to get heated but I should've said 'I bet Corbyn wouldn't agree with you?' I put this 100% on Facebook and reading shit like the chronicle letters page. She'll argue disability rights with people on there and she'll be right but it's almost like the conquer and divide arguement in action with regards to immigration.

I'm generation WTF?

Who's Z again? (and who makes this shit up?)

"Say what, muthafucka?"

I get the impression he's sometimes not so much full of shit but makes the most out of not too much.

Quite.

Somewhere in Guantanamo Bay: American CIA director: "Ok guys, I want to know what the heck is going on here? This dude has been in for questioning for 12 days now and is living his best life and hasn't broke yet, what gives?" CIA Agent: "I'm not sure, sir, we started on the water boarding then kept increasing the time under water and then just started pouring it straight down his throat but he only thanks us for it and only gets uncomfortable when we stop."