Howmanheyman

"..........And if that fucking waste of space Ranger thinks he's good enough to get 25% discount on his garden feature he can fuck off as £50 might be a lot to Bobby Robson but doesn't last long when when you've a growing business empire."

I didn't think you'd noticed.

KSA's 'Michael Winner' style Fish voice was how I'll always imagine him to be honest.

No confirmation whether he's been given official 'uber-Geordie' status yet but it's apparently in the post.

I'm guessing that's either the Fish or Gemmill.

"I will tell you this, boy!!"

He did the mash He did the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash He did the mash It caught on in a flash He did the mash He did the monster mash

Andy 'Elvis' Roxburgh

Enjoy! I'm just happy to be not going into work at tea time for twelve hours and will be happy enough just being in a warm, cozy living room, sitting on my new settee a bit like this one, (modeled by Adolf below)....... ...... and chilling with a bottle of wine with the missus.

"Colo gogo?" "Colo No no!" "Colo Loco!"

Not long to go, CT!

Are there any SO-CALLED namby Pambys in the film?

Nigel Kennedy?

Sad Doggy.

Fergie's one of the good guys, actually. Not only does he find time during a busy 98 minute match at Old Trafford to give friendly advice to Refs and linesman in front of seventy thousand fans who pay no attention to his chats with officials, he also finds time to ring every manager in the PL and football league and offers them their pick of any of his squad outside the first eleven and helps them out with their tactics for their upcoming games. After that he personally calls round to the houses of every out of work football manager in the UK and Ireland and helps them write out CV's and job applications and does mock job interviews with them to improve their interview techniques. when all of that is out of the way he gives the media in depth interviews and makes a point of giving extra time to those journalists who've been a bit critical just to show there's no hard feelings. Just before dusk he'll drive around the rougher districts of the North West and stop the car and offer various street urchins a five year apprenticeship at Old Trafford where he'll personally hone heir skills and set their families up for life whilst hiring a top educational tutor to help them learn how to read and write. Whatta Guy!

Such as CT walk past a Greggs without so much as a glance?

Denial (It's Nile Rangers new fashion range, available at all good Brixton stores NOW!)

Fucking hell! Not you again!

When we signed this exciting striker in our relegation season the Chronicle bigged him up and told us he was a top sprinter for an Edinburgh Athletics club as a teenager. Expecting him to be like shit off a stick, he actually ran as though he had lead boots on whilst wading through freshly laid cement.