Howmanheyman

"It'll be alright, I've heard we're getting some top continental coach from France, probably taught the likes of M'bappe at Blewmfontain. Beyts any nobody from Bournemouth."

Robson persisted with Hately for too long when playing Beardsley was the correct option. Took him one game in to realise his error.

No it's the London NE correspondent for the telegraph. He likes to dance on twitter and argue with Newcastle fans.

I don't understand your point? He's tailor made for them!

I'm not saying Southgate is the problem but his £500m or so midfield were dominated by someone who died three years ago but even more damning struggles to start games for Man United.

Neville and Keane saying Italy are streetwise but they haven't got many good players.

Loved the enigma reply but it was 92-93 we won the '1st' division, not 91-92.

What a fucking strike that was. Square pegs on round holes not going swimmingly again shock!

I've had to put the 5live option on the BBC iPlayer, Shearer should stick to the studio. Get rid of Ferdinand.

It's back on!! Gerrin!!

I once read a book called 'the oldest living vampire..... Unleashed!' Same vibes.

I wonder if he's talking about the Victorian late 19th century when he talks about 'one of the most prestigious jobs in English football '? (But that sound you can hear is one big motherfucking penny dropping).

"We went back in time and asked a hundred Tories if they'd like to pay the optional 10% tax on their betting slip. The Tories said....."

Ok, so you made 21 goal contributions, two more in the cup plus got us a few penalties.....? LTA:

The Swiss manager looks likes he's about to sprinkle a bit of salt on a steak in a contrived fashion.

You photograph it in the brain library, man.

Fuck it, I told a ghostly tale about hearing Roman hobnail boots coming home in Wallsend on a dark, foggy autumn morning, (explaining where I was in close proximity to the original Roman wall/fort) and I kept a straight face to their awed faces whilst wor lass was nipping me in the pool and later on telling me off for bullshitting them. I said they loved it, man.

I remember a lad from New Orleans telling me he was Irish then asking me to draw a map of Ireland for him. Another said something to the Mexican lad behind the bar and after I gave him some advice he said, "You're Australian, right?" Others who were obviously friendly people and spoke soon made their excuses and left when my (very watered down) accent blew their minds and they just couldn't compute. I could come out with a few more tales but I can't be arsed to type them out. They're fucking mental like.

It's cheaper as well.

The atmosphere in the family enclosure was pretty good to be fair, they were even stuck into an arsenal knacker a couple of years ago.

I hope your sunglasses are proper blackouts and your eyeballs aren't sore from looking to the left or right to the general direction of your head.

This German on ITV looks like he's been on an ITV sport vox pop in a Berlin Aldi and they've decided to promote him into the studio for 'local flavour'.

Been a great game this Croatia v Albania match. Almost over and the 2-1 to Croatia is a bit harsh on the Albanians. They've equalised!! 2-2.

Just wondering, TP.