Howmanheyman

Do they do hologram machines I can set up at work so it looks like I'm there?

Iota 1: "Fukkin sicka mags on eeya tryin to get us to buy Pacqetta De Krisps!" Iota 2: "It was me who said it! You carllin me a Mag?" Iota 3: "Neyed to pack this in yew tew, Mag beyhavia this." Iota 2: "Who asked yew, iota 3?" Iota 1: "Right, iota 2, ahll seh ya outside the windmill, seh if yal saya that to me fayace." Iota 4: "Ahd fukkin pummel the lot of ya, just like that mouthy mag ah wuz telling ya about that ah twatted on holida in Rome." Iota 2: "Ya reckon, iota 1? Ya cuddint put the cat out never mind knock me out!" Iota 3: "nar, iota 2, it was iota 4 that said that, marra!"

'.....one iota.....' Is this a massive piss take?

'Fukkin hell, ey sorted that rewe-biks Agbewla cuwe'b out fukkin grayat, like. Gerrin Billy!!! FTM.'

"Start some rumours of a Sunderland takeover to excite and agitate the locals on Wearside. The more frothing at the mouth, the better." "I can get one of our contacts to add a nominal sum on the companies house website so it looks legitimate?" "No need for that, it'll just confuse them. Just put an anonymous post on Facebook from a compromised account with 'FTM' at the end. That'll suffice." "I'll get on it." "Also, while you're doing that, put out a rumour that Take That have snubbed SJP in favour of the Flatpack of Shite."

His name sounds like the new, in-thing, brand of white goods appliances.

I noticed this but it smells like 'fishing rods lol' type crack to me so still bollocks. (Not bothered in the slightest as I'm not his targeted audience).

Reminds of his commentator days....

"Weew, the balls on this one! After the taxi rank job as well?"

I must've missed the Hulk sketch.

And that was the moment when it became a long shot.

There'll be millions of us who haven't or have watched a bit like a car slowing down to watch a car crash but we don't count.

Strawb in a couple of hours after getting back from Tesco.......

Strawb could simply have said something along the lines of 'I'd rather slide down a giant razer blade on my japs eye then celebrate anything to do with a family born into absolute privilege who get lorded by the same people and their voters who would quite happily plunge the likes of us into abject poverty without giving it a seconds thought' or words to that effect.

J69's white socks tomorrow when the bin men refuse to accept them....

White socks were to be laughed at when I was at school, I couldn't give a fuck if they're back on fashion, some things just get hardwired and this must be one of them? I can obviously move with the times on most things tbh but this is the hill I'm dying on.

That's great news if you love it out there, Andrew.

It wasn't the size of his feet, it was the white socks, man! (Must just be me that thinks they look wrong on a bloke unless he's playing football and his team's socks are white?)

Well somebody needs a ham shank.

That bush needs trimmed.

I'm sure he'll have a laugh with it and them as long as they're decent enough lads? (Starting to see the flaw in my argument).

Going round to a mate's for a piss up with a few others. Him and another pal just helped shift the eldest back home this morning and I've had a busy week so looking forward to it then I've seen him post the bunting and a union jack with Liz's face on it in his back garden on WhatsApp. (They couldn't give a fuck really but I think they want an excuse). I'll just have to blank it out as I slowly get pissed in his outside bar.