Howmanheyman

I love carpets, me.

This was on the government Twitter feed which has now been disabled. As clear as mud and contradicting Johnson's speech.

In two months time: "Hello there, Boris here, in this unprecedented time with a global pandemic still being fought, with the nuclear fallout from ex-President and current inmate at San Jose death row, Donald Trump who accidentally pushed the red button thinking he was getting Fox news instead, through to the invasion of the killer tripod aliens and their attempt to farm humans for their dietary nourishment, I once again call on everyone to stay calm and at home. Non-essential manufacturing workers can use our new interactive map which highlights radio active fallout hotspots, Covid-19 hazard areas as well as alien blindspots where their antennas can't smell human prey to plan their journey to work. Thank you."

Watched an hour or so of the maradona film. Absolutely superb so far and very amusing as well. The life he was living in Napoli would've driven anyone insane. Was interesting seeing him alongside his dad when he was in his 20s as he's the spitting dabs of his old man now.

Me and the eldest daughter still at work. She's at a pharmacy and I'm, err, not. There'll be a zombie apocalypse coupled with a nuclear fallout and they'll still be asking if anyone wants any blob at my place.

Watched the first episode of the new Westworld last night, Jesus, it really needs to improve! (I liked the the first series, 2nd one wasn't bad either but if this is a taster of the other episodes then it's not looking good).

It's a good job I can't afford a holiday. What a lucky break!

Had to get up to clear my throat and get some water, no coughs or temperature just a bit of a headache. The only Corona present at the minute is in my fridge.

@PaddockLad I had a bit of drink last night little knowing a cold was coming on so don't feel like it tonight but bored shitless and want to. @Gemmill £35 for four meals you have to cook yourself?…....

Hold on a minute.....You mean it doesn't include the ingredients getting delivered? Before I'd seen the cost I just assumed it was the correct amount of ingredients delivered for specific meals?

Byker sands is lovely in July.

Actually after watching a bit of the very first episode of curb your enthusiasm ages ago I'd give it another go but it's only on Sky/ now. I've got now TV just for the sports paid up front till June, instead of asking for a refund I was prepared to swap it for the entertainment or whatever but there's more chance of SETI getting any evidence of intelligence from space than getting any sign of life from now. Shockingly bad service. Nobody to actually speak to it's virtually all done online. (This is me to now TV.......)

Netflix, load of shite. Amazon, load of shite. BBC iPlayer, not much better. Happy viewing!

I got a box of 18 for £11 or something from Aldi when I took a chance shopping in there on Monday. Sainsburys yesterday? Fuck all in bar the odd single bottles of Spitfire and stuff like that for £1.50 a pop.

CT's got a cracking Slimming world plan.

Why thank you, I don't know what to say?

People have been sent home from work if they're in a vulnerable category, (not including the work from home mob who are already gone), place going to be struggling for skills across the site and I've had an uncomfortable night and feel a bit groggy, bunged up and generally shit. Would have no choice but to go in on Monday as I will only get paid SSP as I don't think it's the Corona at the minute. If it was I'd be on full pay for two weeks. Great.

As someone who has had the misfortune of staying at hotels in Spain in the past where there's lots of British and seen the bullshit that goes on with sunbeds around the pool I can only say I'm shocked by the behaviour of some, shocked I tell you.

A small plane runs into difficulty and there's only Trump, Johnson, a couple of school kids and Jeremy Corbyn on it. They're told there's only three parachutes to be had. Straight away Trump says he's not only the president but the brightest man in his country and needs to survive and picks one up and jumps. Johnson watches him and also states he's the PM and a product of the British institution of Eton, therefore one of the greatest thinkers in the United Kingdom and must prevail, he then grabs the second and leaps to freedom and safety. Corbyn looks at the two kids, sighs and says he's had a decent life, is getting on a bit and insists the kids use the remaining parachute and he'll strap the kids together. The kids tell him that it's ok, there's still three parachutes as the brightest man in America and the greatest thinker in the the United Kingdom both grabbed their school bags.

They say great minds think alike don't they @The Fish?

Wor lass does this every week until now where they're booked out for weeks, the cunts.

Well 1st night back at graft, office staff who can are working from home, however we're still working but they've binned loads of chairs so we can keep some distance between ourselves when we're having a cuppa. Trouble is now you're fighting to get a seat on your break whilst the little Hitler's are sat in the house on mein kampfy chair.