Howmanheyman

'It must be love, lu-u-urve Bless you and bless me, Bless the Whees And the Keyes.''

Yes! I confess! It was I! I planned the whole thing from my comfortable, sorry, mein kampfy cushioned chair in my snug council office. You'd be surprised to learn I was ex-forces which actually helped me get the job in the first place. At the interview I was asked if I had any medical conditions? I said I had a caffeine intolerance and my testicles were blown off by a IED in Iraq. He told me that the council liked to support us veterans and gave me the job. He said everyone was on 9-5 but I could start at eleven instead. I asked why and he said that at the council they just stand around scratching their balls and drinking coffee for the first couple of hours. IT WAS THAT COUPLE OF HOURS I DEVISED MY MILKSHAKE AMBUSH! Yours, Council worker. (And proud).

It never ends.

I don't wear sunglasses but you're recommending them, aye?

That's out of order, no question. On the final itself, I really hope they get no more than 26,000 tickets.

Going with a 14 year old and my missus who'll have to be in a wheelchair as she'll not be able to walk much distance. So I'm guessing I'll be a bit knackered with it being summer pushing her around the city.

I was waiting for the first one to put something like that. It was always going to be between you and @Monkeys Fist.

......Err......

I'm sure they can bond with Southampton over this, no problem, nothing to see here..... .....oops!

Time for HR to do a headcount in Wykikie's place. Make sure everyone's safe and accounted for. Maybe give the local plod a ring too just for a heads up?

Norwich would be a ball ache, fuck overnighters now. Also pretty sure it would be a sell out early doors so I've little chance of ever going there. I twice did Ipswich a few years ago and enjoyed that, especially talking to two generations both called 'piggy'. Father 'Piggy' was an old POW in the far east.

Any 15 year old tips/hints?

Be there or don't be square.

A4 or A5 size?

Bairn's new passport just came back. Not blue!!!!! Did billions of pounds go to waste for nothing? No 'European Union' on it so it'll have to do for now, Beryl!!! Roses are English We're now on a roll Blue passports next We're taking back control. Wibble.

Anyone been to Roma?

Good luck to the fucker, if people are stupid enough to fund that then it might as well go to a piss taker.

My away days are virtually extinct now but I concur with that assessment and take your word about Norwich as I've never been*. *Technically haven't been to Derby either as it was the baseball ground when I was last there. Cracking ground for association football games.

I turned it off at 1-0 (2-0). Think sky, like Alan Parry with us, has PERSONALLY asked Leeds to stay in the championship as the relegated teams don't float their boat and they can keep commentating on their games. Sky championship football coverage will be lost if they left the league.

They probably had a special bond with Celtic until last years pre-season game with them. Their special bond switched to Tommy Robinson. Be funny if they invited Rangers down and then it kicked off with them as well.

Beyond parody......

Was happy hour. All pizzas* £4.50 *Except for seafood pizzas, add £1.(Perez ordered one and his card's now marked, there's always one who abuses a kind gesture).

It ceased being agonising after forty years and became normal.

Once you go fat, you always think fuck that.