Howmanheyman

Run it off you big Jessie!

"Urin? You were lucky! I used to dream of urin! Mine tasted like the fetid discharge of Uri Geller's cock."

"Newcastle must win to silence Steve Bruce's most rabid critics...."

I'm really sorry to hear that, Rents.

You know how things are going with the PL when you genuinely haven't heard of people getting picked for the national squad. I watch us because you can't not, the rest of the games now are neither here nor there and ingurland have left me cold since at least 1998.

When I was at school we got transported to football games by an old Sherpa van which we found strangely amusing because I'm sure the Papa John's trophy was once the Sherpa Vans cup for div 3 and 4 clubs? It's quite funny they've won it by being in the 3rd and even better they don't get to pollute Trafalgar Square and see their team lift the trophy either so as shite as it is, they haven't even got the 'day out' aspect of it. Shame.

I haven't watched any football since Friday night's abortion but a quick glance at rtg and I'm apparently.....checks notes...... crying into my gravy and my Sunday has been ruined just like Adam Johnson ruined my Christmas. (I wonder if the normal ones on there cringe at some of the patter?)

Spoilt for choice tbh. Copacabana Joe, Shelvey, Krafth, Hendrick, Fraser......

Just posting. I mean, isn't that what any fan forum is for?

Joelinton, copacabana Joe, the new 'jigsaw'.

I wonder if that's the same expression/pose he pulled when the pudding told him he was starting?

Nothing screams shop tea leaf like a can in his hand, no shopping and a big trampy coat weighed down.

You cheek cun! (Night shift posts).

It's true. Everyone else is a bitch who probably only watch NUFC by TV in Singapore.

Who would you consider the best player is for West Ham? Can't answer your questions as I haven't watched enough of you as the PL generally bores the tits off me. I only watch NUFC as it's been hardwired into me for nearly forty years. What do you think West Hams strengths and weaknesses are? Karen Brady and the dildo brothers piss me off quite a bit, especially Brady. They're a weakness. A strength? I don't know, I've never minded West Ham so there must be something there although the ground move has took something away. How do you think Newcastle will get on for the rest of this season? We'll be shit, poor to watch and it'll be a slow car crash whether we go down as our three best offensive players are all injured so where will the goals come from? The manager is the biggest worry even when they're back. What player for Newcastle should opposing teams watch out for? Nobody at present. Are you happy with the return of Andy Carroll? No, especially his contract getting renewed another year. A desperate move by a club who hate signing players. How gutted were you when the recent takeover fell through? Gutted we've still got Ashley, absolutely gutted. I can't put across how poisonous the last 15 years have been and how much he's sucked the life out of the club. I didn't like the idea of who was going to buy us one iota and it wouldn't have sat well at all. What has been Newcastles biggest struggle this season? The holy trinity of Ashley, Charnley and Bruce. Does Steve Bruce deserve the criticism he receives from fans? My first game was in 1983, he's very much a contender for the worst full time manager we've ever had in my time of following us. We all knew what was coming but he's been even worse. I didn't expect the petulance and the massive pet lip. Out of his depth a decade ago never mind now. Do you think you will stay up this season? It depends how long Wilson, Almiron and ASM are out for and whether the duck egg helps them break down by rushing them back. What are your score predictions for Newcastle v West Ham? Always fancy us against you but we'll need those players back, even then it's 50/50 at best. Without them there's no chance of anything unless you're total shit on the day and can't be arsed.

I'm genuinely wondering if he ever read the diaries? They were in TF so there's a fair chance. Is this a subtle piss take from himself or am I giving him too much credit?

He never wrote that, surely?

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, wor kid.

For such awkward, tight bastards they love to spunk up the wedge on total shit but baulk at paying a bit extra for genuine quality.

Here he is!

Fannying about on Google earth and I noticed the tight bastards haven't renamed Johnson's parking space.

Geoff Shreeves: "So after just two wins in twenty games, do you still think you'll have enough to stay up, Steve?" Duck-egg: "Well, you know, I'll be delighted if we do but we'll just dust ourselves down yet again seeing as that fat cockney bastard is my boss and his sports shops are full of cheap shit." GS: " What? Errr....are you saying...." Duck-egg: "Hang on a minute, Geoff, just got to answer this....hello? Steve Bruce.....oh hello Lee..... what?..... Mike's been on the phone?..... I'm sacked? How's the pay off did you say?.....no bother....tell Mike no hard feelings....and thanks, thanks very much. It's been a pleasure. Ok.... I'll clear it out in the morning. Bye.....Bye.....(hangs up)......(mutters).... Jesus, thought he'd never take the fucking hint."

Just been talking about a bloke who did that in my old street. (No it wasn't me!)

I watched ours and that was more than enough.

Imagine us watching it then having the rest of the day ahead after it?