ewerk

Don't worry, I'm sure they'll get at least six hours out of this.

Can't be proved wrong if you don't predict anything.

Looks like things are a bit quiet over at SSN on deadline day.

Must've been embarrassing when the Gerbil escaped though?

FYP

How would Johnson juggle being PM with his army job?

As a Stanley Fatmax fan I know I don't deserve to be listed up there.

Another reason to bring in assisted dying.

Toupée, sir.

I always thought wigs were supposed to hide the fact that you're bald rather than draw attention to it.

Ah yes, the Jimmy Hill tax.

They actually used a voice over artist to do Ferdinand's bit afterwards. To make it look lifelike they stuck peanut butter to the roof of his mouth so he'd look like he's talking, it's the same thing they did to make the monkeys talk in the PG Tips adverts. And no, that's NOT racist.

Chelsea are looking £50m for Broja. I don't get it at all, the lad has 8 league goals in 58 PL appearances. How is he worth anything close to £50m?

The FFP breach relates to last year, it doesn't affect the current season.

If you expect me to willingly watch anything with Rio Ferdinand in it then you're sadly mistaken.

Aye, I certainly doubted his signing. At Everton he ran like fuck, always putting in a shift but he was running around like a headless chicken. Our coaching staff appear to have given him a brain and it's really paid off this season.

It’s irrelevant to this season’s FFP figures anyway.

Fucking hell, Longstaff.

We’re possibly just eight points off a CL spot. It’s not over yet.

The Villa fans appear to have lost their voices again.

Almiron hobbling now.

Miley off for Tino. FFS.