ewerk

Aye but that's for entirely unrelated reasons.

Oh goody, the one thing we really love here in Ireland is some no nowt foreigner coming over to find the relatives of their great great great great granny. We never get that happening.

Fucking hell, I'm here 19 years. That's nearly half my life.

How many of the originals are left? I came over during the Great N-O split but there was a board before that.

Gemmill is pretty much this board's Trigger so it's definitely on brand for him.

Awwww, look at you still fighting yesterday's war like a little Japanese soldier marooned on an island.

Just the three of them were penalties.

More time to concentrate on making sure GIWA.

Luke? Is he playing at the weekend?

Oh you and Gemmill are mates now are you? Mates? Buddies? Friends?

I kinda meant the tens of thousands of Gazans they’ve killed.

Anyone with kids under ten must know this song.

I mean I’m not a big fan of their genocide but you have to hand it to them, that was ingenious.

Last season we were in the CL. That was the time to come out with the dodgy deals and try to explain everything away by saying we're a CL club now. Instead it looks like we're far to scared to even test the associated party rules and the taps of untold wealth. For example, why are our shirt deals worth nearly half of Tottenham's?

Where's @trooper at these days?

Well that’s your own fault. Having picked Newcastle as your English side no one would have begrudged you choosing Bayern as your German team.

We didn't make Isak into a £100m player. He joined us after the season had already started and was a one in two striker for us immediately. Likewise Bruno and Botman took no time to adjust. We paid less for them than their true value. The transfer market is the very definition of an imperfect market otherwise there would be no point in trying to get the best scouts.

The Coutinho transfer was the deal of the century for Liverpool. It's like someone offering us £180m for Bruno. You wouldn't want to see him go but you'd snap their hands off for the money.

You can underpay for a player just as you can overpay for a player. You're not just buying a player on current form but on potential, which is what we have done and of course it takes coaching to see those players fulfil that potential.

You've got the wrong bog trotter, I'm strictly a 4x4 man. It was Ant that drove the Mazda MX5.

See this is why you're a so called accountant and I work in business. You can't just look at the outgoings and say 'we're spending too much'. The person we should all be turning our attention to is Peter Silverstone, the man with what should be the easiest job in the world: commercial director for Newcastle United. Man City can reach down the back of the sofa and come up with a few commercial deals worth tens of millions yet he hasn't been able to replicate that even though our owner is literally the dictator of one of the world's wealthiest countries.

Oh so now we shouldn't have signed Isak? Honest to god, some of you deserved Mike Ashley. It's time to take your picture of Lee Charnley down off the wall. We signed Isak for £60m and he's now worth at least £100m. That means we got a £100m player for much less than his true value. That is good business. The same goes with Gordon, Bruno and Botman. If we were bidding nearly £70m for Guehi then clearly we did have money to spend this summer, it just wasn't spent. I've been saying for years that we need to become like Liverpool and Man City where we bring through young players and even if they don't make the first team then we sell them for good money. That isn't rocket science but no one can expect that system to be implemented and start showing results in two years.

Also, while I'm taking you to school, who have we bought at peak age and peak price? Look at our most expensive transfers, they were all at the age where they can improve and most of them have increased in value and the others definitely have the potential to do so.

The first paragraph is mostly nonsense. Of course the first team is going to be the priority given the complete lack of quality that the new regime inherited. The plan was never to be a Brighton and build slowly over seven or eight years. We have signed plenty of young players but it is rare to see a return on that investment within just a couple of years, Minteh being the exception. If this cunt wants us to be another Spurs where he was happy to see their best players sold off for big money then he's at the wrong club. That sort of strategy will never bring success.