Jimbo

I did the old classic "forgot to put my handbrake on" today, had to chase my locked car across Asda carpark before it crashed into something.

No its ready to drink but I guess you could add extra Tequila if you wanted it stronger. You've lost me like A Margarita's meant to be (near enough) 40% abv. This sounds like a pale imitation. Plus it's only got 3 ingredients anyway. You'll be telling me you like Blue Wkd next. OK its as weak as piss, but its nice piss none the less.

No its ready to drink but I guess you could add extra Tequila if you wanted it stronger.

10%

Jose Cuervo's nowt spesh. And why don't you just mix your own? Fucking amateur Because I'm a lazy fucking amateur ! and it was only £5 in Asda.

Faith No More - A small victory

Fucking nectar.

Could have been worse, could have been wearing this....

what a cracking idea

I find a Chocolate finger always gets their attention.

Good point Craig.

I sympathise with you, the bloke will bring the most dull brand of anti-football imaginable.

Oh dear, the football Anti-christ returns.

Taking the Mikel surely ?

For those that sit, do you inspect your paper when you've wiped ? or do you just wipe once and hope for the best ?

I use a folded wad of paper, anyone using two sheets per wipe might as well just use their hand.

Watched the double episode season finale last night. What the fuck !

I agree and also think if he has a future it lies in the middle as he was awful on the right last season when he played, but it makes no sense selling someone with his versatility as it will be of further detriment to our already thin squad. Something like this. Agreed, Milner's best play has always been when he's tracked across to the middle, he is totally wasted on either wing.

I'm still not convinced about Milner, he falls into the Dyer category for me, all the build up but little end product.

Onion news: the movie Very good, a modern satirical version of The Kentucky fried movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0392878/

Emre quits Toon say Fenerbahce May 30 2008 By Lee Ryder NEWCASTLE UNITED have parted company with Turkish ace Emre tonight according to reports in Istanbul. The diminutive star is currently preparing for Euro 2008 with Turkey in Austria and Switzerland but sources at Fenerbahce tonight claim the Turkish Superliga giants have made the midfielder their first major signing of the summer. A statement on Fenerbahce's official wesbite tonight said: "Fenerbahce reached an agreement with Newcastle United in order to sign the Turkish superstar Emre Belozoglu." The player arrived on Tyneside during the Graeme Souness era from Inter Milan for £3.8million and won a place in the hearts of the Toon Army after a stunning free-kick won the derby in 2005 at St James's Park in a 3-2 victory.

Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton was cleared today of criminal damage. The former Manchester City player, 25, was found not guilty at Liverpool Magistrates’ Court of vandalising a taxi after a night out in March last year. The player, who was last week jailed for six months for admitting assault and affray, left court to return to prison after a half-day trial.

Keegan rules out overhaul Newcastle boss happy with foundations By Rob Parrish Last updated: 30th May 2008 International Friendlies After a difficult start following his return to St James' Park in January, the Magpies eventually improved to finish the campaign in 12th place. And while champions Manchester United more than doubled Newcastle's points tally for the season, Keegan believes that the foundations are already in place for a much-improved display in 2008/09. Quality He told the Evening Chronicle: "We've already got some quality players and we hope to add to that. "It's hard to predict. I can say better when it is the start of the season when I have all the squad together. "If you ask me then I can look round and say this is what we are going to go with." Keegan admitted changing the training regime for the Magpies was his main priority when he took over in the wake of Sam Allardyce's departure. Formula He added: "I've enjoyed it. We've changed a few things at Newcastle. "When you come into a club, everybody has different ideas, and that's no criticism of what had gone on before. "Our main aim was to try to make players here enjoy coming to the training ground, and by doing that make sure they do the right kind of work. "If you can get that right it's a pretty good formula."

Why are Barca letting Dos Santos go? It will take a while for Modric to acclimatise to the PL. I wouldn't expect too much from him first season. Why did Barca let Fabregas go? Not sure that they "let" Fabregas go, didn't Arsenal get him to sign a professional contract before Barca did ?

Rob would probably tell you that he had spent a year living with them surviving on berries and rain water.