bobbyshinton

Happy Birthday twat

Mates met him says he is a great bloke

They will need it, looks like they will settle back down there for a long time to come Jewel knocked them back.

Travel Blog? eh what who where how when

Q: What looks like half a cat? A: The other half! Q: What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool? A: She had mittens! Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A: A carrot! Q: How do cats eat spaghetti? A: The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths! Q: What is a French cat's favourite pudding? A: Chocolate mousse! Q: What do cat actors say on stage? Tabby or not tabby! Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money? A: I'm paw! Q: How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold? A: He has cat-arrh! Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? A: She's got that down in the mouth look! Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla? A: An animal that puts you out a night! New added 17/3/05 Q: What do cats drink from when they're in space? A: Flying Saucers! Which pet is a librarian's best friend? The cat-alogue! What word best describes my cat? Purr-fect! Why do most people like cats? They have pleasing purr-sonalities! Why do cats lick milk out of bowls? They do not know how to use straws. Why do cats prefer milk? It's purr-fectly delicious! Why did Mr. and Mrs. Cat get married? They were a purr-fect match. Q) What is the difference between a dog and a cat? A) A dog will drop everything and come when you call. A cat will check its schedule, and fit you in. What did the cat call it when all the dogs left town? Good mews! What is the feline's favorite baseball position? Cat-cher! When is the best time for our cat friends to leave a place? Anytime it's gone to the dogs! What does a cat say when someone pulls its tail? "Me-ow!" What did the angry cat say? "I'm fur-ious!" What did the cat say when it upset the milk dish? Nobody's purr-fect! What do they say about a cat who bites? Cat-nip! Why do cats sing in back alleys? Well, that's shoe-business! Why did the policeman arrest the young cat? Because of kitty litter! How did our feline friend put the iceman out of business? Cat got his tong(s)! What is the cats all-time favorite song? Three Blind Mice! What is another name for a cat's home? A scratch pad! What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand? Sandy Claws! How do you spell cat backwards? C-a-t B-a-c-k-w-a-r-d-s! How did our feline friend put the iceman out of business? Cat got hit tong(s)! What do you call it when our feline friends show good manners? Eti-cat, of course! What did the cat call it when all the dogs left town? Good mews! Why don't cats complain when other cats make noise all night? Because it's meow-sic to their ears! What was left when the cat's party was over? Kitty litter What do you call it when a cat bites? Catnip! Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise? It's meow-sic to their ears! What's every cat's favorite song? Three Blind Mice! Where do cats write down notes? Scratch Paper! Why does everyone love cats? They're purr-fect! What do you call a cat who eats lemons? A sourpuss! What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross? A first-aid kit! What's a cat's favorite food? Petatoes! What's a cat's second favorite food? Spa-catti! What kind of cats lay around the house? Car-pets! How do cats buy things? From a cat-alogue! What do you call it when a cat stops? A paws! Why do cats eat fur balls? Because they love a good gag! What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock? Catsup!

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day, the man went to the a sports store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked,"How did it go?" The man answered, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"

If only you would. One day

I would be funny if.................... oh forget it. it is a good start but did rodent and sourmess not have a similar start

As personalised threads go, I'd be disappointed with this one if I was Alex. Sorry but I'm knocking off now, just wanted a quick reply Why the hell am I apologising or explaining myself

Do you lot still go to the Trent

A little boy comes into the kitchen one day and says to his mum, "granny's got a prawn!". The mother says, "what on earth do you mean?". The boy takes his mother to show her his granny, stark naked asleep on the sofa. He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says, "granny's got a prawn". His mother whispers, "thats your grandmothers clitoris son!", to which the son replies ...... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . "well it tastes like a prawn" .....

That always gets the blokes looking in A man and his son were talking about sex. The son asked his father, "dad, what does a pussy look like?" The dad asked him, "before or after sex?" "Ummmm, before sex", the kid replied. The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?" "Yeah" said the son. "Well, what about after sex?" said the son. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His dad replied, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"!!!

You're too old for the train to Sunderland caper Bobby and you know exactly what I mean I didn't even bother applying, because my away record is so pish, you need to have been to at least 40 aways in the last 10 years to get one, I've been to more than that but the vast majority aren't on me record for one reason or another. If anyone can get me one I'll give you £50 over the top. Its all in the air at the moment. (that would be a new method) anyway you are only as old as you feel

why has it got to be on line retailers

Fishing Tale... Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?" Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am . When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said: "Fishing or Sex?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . she said: "Wear sun-block."

How do you know if your application has been knocked back (apart from not getting a fucking ticket smart arse ) I think they still return your slip with the reason for getting knocked back on the back ticked (there's a list on the back of the application slip - oversubscribed, incorrect payment, etc.). cheers mate have a good one

How do you know if your application has been knocked back (apart from not getting a fucking ticket smart arse )

oops

I'm hoping. Not sure how I will be travelling if I get a ticket

There were 3 gay blokes and their partners all died at around the same time. On their way to the morgue, the guy who worked there asked them where they want to spread their partners ashes. The first gay bloke says, "I want to spread his ashes over the ocean because he loved to swim!" The second gay bloke says, "I want to spread his ashes on a mountain because he loved to climb." And then the third gay guy says, "I want to spread him all over my chili, and the guy who worked at the morgue asked, "WHY?" and he said . . . . . . . . . . . . . ," So he can give me a sore arse one more time."

with you on that

I would love an introduction to him. Scarey stuff, the big bad bald comedian dishing the threats out We leave it at that for now

I would love an introduction to him.